Had a chat with a man yesterday, who swore blind he was getting off on Monday in Sydney. I wish him all the best with that, because we don’t dock there until Tuesday, so he’ll have a hell of a swim ahead of him. He was stridently adamant, to the point of almost being rude, rather sarcastically pointing out that February has 28 days. Apparently he has not twigged that this is a leap year. How can you not know when your holiday ends?! Has he not booked onward travel?! A taxi or a train or anything? Good grief.

Tender port. Oh goody. This means a little extra thinking around corners, because once you go out the door, you’re looking at an hour round trip to come back for anything, so you have to plan very carefully indeed.

Weather: Warm, overcast, humid as hell. Moisture coalescing on the skin like you’re a coke straight out of the fridge. Sea colour: khaki. No wind to speak of.

Getting off was surprisingly straightforward, as it turned out, although the tender took about 15 minutes to get to the dock at Waitangi. The nearest town is Paihia (which, as the very friendly local greeter explained, should be pronounced Pie –here, which, frankly, I had already figured out for myself!). We took the shuttle bus from Waitangi into Paihia and wandered the craft fair and a few shops.

Then we had an early lunch/brunch on the water. And I mean ON the water. ‘Alongside 35’ is built out on a jetty over the bay and the view is spectacular (the restaurant next door is called 35 South, in case you were wondering about the name). The food was surprising in some ways – the guacamole had sweetcorn in it, for starters – but very tasty nonetheless, and I got my chicken in gluten-free bread, which was a nice touch. The chips were SUPERB. Heaven only knows how they were cooked, or what in, but they were phenomenally good.

While we ate, we watched boats going in and out of the marina moorings, including some parasailing trips and jetski tours (?!), as well as the helicopter that landed next to the restaurant to take people on air tours over the Bay. It literally landed on a patch of grass next to the car park. It can’t have been more than ten feet square, with trees on one side and buildings on the other. Quite impressive.

Then we took the shuttle back to Waitangi pier to pick up the boat we were taking to tour the Bay of Islands for three hours.  The mist came down, along with a light rain, so the view was mostly rubbish, with clouds obscuring the tops of the hills and islands we passed, and it was also quite rough (some were unwell, but we were fine), but we went all the way out to the Hole in the Rock (which really is a rock that the sea has carved a hole in), although our boat could not pass through, as it normally would, because it was too bumpy to do safely. Frankly, I was surprised the trip went out at all. There didn’t seem a lot of point given the conditions. On the way back, we met a school of dolphins, which will be most people’s highlight memory of the trip. Then back on the tender and back to the ship for a rest/ shower before dinner.

Next to the bridge between Waitangi and Paihia, there is a ship moored. The story goes that the ship went up river to make deliveries some years ago, and by the time it came back down, the bridge had been built, and so it has been trapped inside ever since. It’s a lovely tale. I hope it is true!

All in all a very pleasant day, although if I had known how rough it would be, and how poor the visibility, I would have sacrificed the boat trip (and the dolphins) and explored Paihia a bit more. It looks like a very pleasant little town.

Before you ask, there is literally nothing at Waitangi except a yacht club, a hotel and the historical site (where the Maoris signed their treaty with the English). And the jetty. We just moored there because Paihia is too shallow for our tenders.

Estapona is on The BBC Travel Show this weekend! Cool! They are talking about Bossaball, which is a new sport that seems to be a mixture of trampolining and volleyball. It looks fun but exhausting.

Tonight the clocks go back. AGAIN. But the sea days will be very, VERY welcome. We are all absolutely shattered. Three ports in three days is hard at the best of times, never mind in this humidity.

Perfect day. Gorgeous weather (25 in the shade, blue skies, perfect), lovely city, friendly people. They even put out a red carpet for us! A bit expensive. Scratch that. Holy cow, NZ is expensive. I was a little perturbed yesterday, but today it really hit home. £5 for a bag of Haribo. No wonder everyone here is so virulently healthy. They can’t afford the naughty stuff!

We took the hop on, hop off bus to see the place. It’s very pretty by the water, and then becomes a city ‘proper’ as you go further inland. There is a lot of water. Auckland is spread across several islands, and has one of the highest rates of boat ownership in the world. So LOTS of water. It was a little alarming that the first thing you see when you boarded the tour bus was a massive great toolbox under the driver’s seat. And the double-decker bus (although not open-topped) clearly was not designed for the many steep hills on which Auckland is built. The engine had to work very hard indeed sometimes. Yikes. But we made it in the end, so all’s well that ends well, and all that.

We went to the Skytower and I went up it by myself. The view was spectacular, and the glass lift made my ears pop! Particularly excited to be able to get a student discount. Then we went to Viaduct Harbour and sat by the marina to have our lunch (the restaurant we chose was Neptun’s, for those of you who might be interested, and yes, that is the correct spelling), watching the boats and ships coming in and out – all different shapes and sizes; from one man standing on a surfboard, to a ferry carrying several hundred people, going out to one of the islands. The sea was turquoise, the food was delicious, the weather was hot and the sailing yachts were very, very pretty.

That’s about it, save to say that I think I now get why people want to move halfway across the world to live here. It’s very pleasant. The whole city is spotlessly clean – no graffiti, no chewing gum, no litter. Everyone is friendly and helpful and kind and considerate. They drive on the left. Their pedestrian crossings give enough time for even slow people to cross without fear. It’s very much a home from home, but the weather is never this good at home.

Had a bit of a barney with Security when getting back on board. When you show your cruise card, as you must (today FOUR times between land and deck – passport control (and yes, we had to show passports too), land end of the airbridge, ship end of the airbridge (how can you skip the inspection and arrive at one end of the airbridge tunnel without having got in at the other end?!), and then the barcode swipe at the door, where your photo appears on the computer screen to confirm you are who you should be (my pic has me in a fleece and scarf combo – I look very cold – well, it was taken in mid-January!). When this happens, some of them have this disgusting habit of insisting on grabbing it, in order to look at it. Some have learned that we don’t want them to do that, for hygiene reasons, but some have not.  This is a sector change hub. More than 500 people have embarked today, mostly straight off the plane, with all the germs they could accumulate in the space of 24 hours of recycled air. And the guy at the ship end of the airbridge is grabbing every single card. There cannot be a more efficient way to spread Norovirus between passengers. I wouldn’t let him touch it, only look, and so he grabbed me by the arm and, when I wrenched myself free, he shoulder barged me to try and stop me boarding.  That’s the legal definition of assault under UK law. Then he called his supervisor, and his supervisor blocked my path and called the Head of Security. Which fits the legal definition of imprisonment without cause (kidnap) under UK law (which is defined as being denied the ability to move in any direction, for the more detail-minded among you). The Head of Security, as those of you with good memories will recall, is named Martin, and we have already met. When he arrived, we had a chat. He said I should let them do their jobs. I said they don’t have to spread disease in order to read the cards. They need to think of us, too. We parted on fairly friendly terms, but now he can say he has “spoken to me” about it, and so all honour is served all round. But if another member of security ever lays a hand on me ever again, we will be having a FAR more serious conversation.

There is a very strange attitude on this ship to Norovirus. They seem thoroughly disinterested in prevention. It’s as if they have decided it will recur, no matter what, so there’s no point in stressing about prevention – only containment when it comes. But I have no intention of spending my holiday in the bathroom, thank you very much, so I will protect myself, and God help you if you try and stop me. I already have several waiters trained to give me two squirts of hand gel, instead of one. I’m not taking any chances. And letting some germ-covered security fool in a high viz pass other people’s germs on to me, just because he thinks it makes him look more conscientious, is NEVER going to happen. You’ll be kicking me off the damn ship before I’ll let that happen, you have my word on it. No one else is responsible for my health and wellbeing. I am. and I am not allowing anyone to expose me to unnecessary risks.

An annoying end to an otherwise lovely day. Tomorrow: Bay of Islands, wherever that is!

Wednesday 24^th February.

At least I think it is, for us, if not for you in the UK. Oh, I dunno.

Last sea day for a while. Tried to make it as relaxing as possible, which isn’t too difficult! Don’t think you really want to hear it all again. You know the score: fruit, Sudoku, etc.

Meh. That’s about it, really.

Thursday 25^th February. Tauranga, New Zealand (pronounced Taronga)

Although we didn’t go to Tauranga, in fact. We moored in a small seaside town about 5 miles away, called Mount Maunaganui. This place is lovely. Very like England, but with WAY better weather! (low twenties in the shade, high twenties in the sun) And they drive on the left! It is very green here, so I reckon it must rain quite a lot at times, but it was gorgeous today.

Mount Maunaganui is basically our favourite kind of town – with one main street, all on the flat, with a friendly atmosphere and good weather. Ideal.

Tauranga prides itself on being the first town in the world to offer free wifi throughout. Which is fab. But sadly, the free and gratis bandwidth in Mount Maunaganui is really not up to the arrival of several thousand crew and passengers, none of whom have had a decent connection for over a fortnight. We found a small café called Ambrosia, which doesn’t normally allow customers to use its connection, and so we had excellent bandwidth for Skyping home, because no one else was using it! Unusually, we also managed to get hold of everyone we needed to, which was an added bonus.

We ate in a café called The Bach, and then pootled around the shops. There were no big chains here, so every shop was interesting and different. A lot of the goods were marked as being made and designed in New Zealand. They are clearly very proud and protective of their artisans and designers.

I think I purchased the last pair of goggles in the whole town! I tried four stores before I found one that had one pair left. Then we went back to the shore and sat for a while by the water, watching people and chatting to locals who were using the beach. Everyone here is so lovely, it’s ridiculous.

Then had to have a siesta for a bit. Then dad and I went back out to use a bit more free wifi to do some email and chores and then we got back on board just in time for dinner. Only Michael made it. Paula and Dale and Laurie and Michael had hired a car to explore together, so we weren’t surprised when they didn’t make it. But it dawned on me that Paula and Dale will disembark tomorrow, at Auckland, so we may never see them again! Gulp.

So excited to see the Flying Scotsman in Kings Cross, preparing to go up to York. And it departed bang on time. Which is unusual on that line! Fab. I wish I could have been there. But £400 a ticket for one trip is a bit steep.

May have burned the top of my head. It’s a bit warm…

Mad Max Fury Road. Not bad. Bubblegum for the soul. No value, no insight, no taste.

Valkyrie. Rather stressful but really quite good.

For me, it is now 9am on Tuesday 23^rd. For you, it is 8pm on Monday 22^nd. Still with me?!

A quiet day of fruit, pasta and Sudoku. Adam Hart-Davies gave another talk, which overran slightly, but was thoroughly enjoyable, as expected. The theatre was quite cold, though, so I did rather leg it out the door at the end. I hope he wasn’t offended!

Went down to the Medical Centre so they could give me my B12 jab. £50 for the injection of a product I supplied myself. *sigh*.

Today is 60s and 70s night, so a little bit of dressing up required. Velvet trousers and flared sleeves.

Dinner was pleasant enough. Laurie and Michael did not come to dinner, but that meant that we got to have a good chat with Paula and Dale. We talked about television programmes from our younger days. It’s amazing what crosses over the pond and what doesn’t. For example, they knew Bilko, but not Top Cat. Which was based on Bilko. Very odd.  When we discussed movies, Dale said that he hated Hot Fuzz and did not enjoy it at all. Michael and I were flabbergasted. We’ve never met someone who didn’t enjoy Hot Fuzz. Funny old world.

Michael has a bad tooth, but he was coping quite well until dessert. Ice cream followed by coffee really hurt him and he went very red in the face and left early to go and find some more painkillers.

Tonight, I asked the captain about Hurricane Winston, which has devastated Fiji, and now appears to be tracking on a course that will meet up with us at Auckland. He said it was coming, but that it would weaken as it passes over cooler water. Dale says the water has to be at least 28 degrees Celsius to allow the formation of a cyclone, so the cooler the water, the less energy the storm will have. I hope they’re both right!

It is now 11pm for me on Tuesday 23^rd. I think it is 10am in the UK. This is all getting very confusing.

I’m so tired. No matter how much I sleep, I can’t shake this drowsiness. I spend most of my time just fighting to keep my eyes open.  I think I shall surrender and go to bed. I’ve probably long since stopped making sense anyway, so it’s probably best I stop typing.

Sea Day – Sunday 21^st Feb.

I’m not sure why the new episode of Sleepy Hollow is always shown on a Sunday morning. Someone’s idea of a joke, perhaps. We have a channel called Prime US. Never heard of it before, but it seems to show stuff I like. Now we have NCIS: Cyber. Entertainingly, one of the guest actors is called Booboo Stewart. Is that a real name?! What a bizarre choice. I know that every actor has to have a unique name, under Equity rules, but frankly, Booboo? Seriously?! Prime US must be pre-recorded, because it shows trailers for movies that will be released in time for Christmas 2015. I really want to see Deadpool. That has to be the best trailer I have seen in a very long time.

Apparently, yesterday the Entertainment Manager won a bet in the cricket nets, and now the Hotel Manager is his slave all day. She has to do his announcements, shine his shoes, feed him a Creme Egg on the hour every hour, and glue diamantes to one of his ties! I have been woken by less amusing announcements.

Sundays are sad days. Every set of church bells over the tannoy tolls the end of another week. Six weeks down, ten to go. *sigh* It seems hard to believe that so much of this cruise is already behind us.

Okay, now I officially need a lie down. The noon announcement from the Bridge has just explained that we are going forward 23 hours, and we achieve this by putting the clocks BACK one hour and waking up on Tuesday. Like I could be more confused than I was before. My poor brain.

Tomorrow’s newspaper was delivered. Twice. One for the 22^nd and one for the 23^rd.

The one for the 22^nd offered free spa treatments, helicoptering in fresh goods to the shops –requests taken, and a port talk on a new excursion to somewhere called The Moon. There is a new guaranteed weight loss method available in the Spa’s piranha tank – cost: one arm and one leg, and a class called Kleptomaniacs Towel Folding (bring someone else’s towel). It’s a shame the Naked Bungee Jumping is only available to those over 80, but I’ll console myself with the Strip Name that Tune quiz later. Although with the dance lesson being body popping and break dancing and the late night disco being a drum and bass rave, I’ll have a busy day.

Seven people will miss their birthdays. Does that mean they stay the same age for another year?

Today was a quiet sea day. The pool has water in again, but I was so tired, I didn’t go in. just had lunch and then went back to bed! Slept til dinner time. Either I’m coming down with something or I am going through a spate of depression. I feel very apathetic and gloomy. The weather was a bit overcast today, which didn’t help. I am always quite susceptible to a pathetic fallacy – although I thought the weather was supposed to reflect my mood, not vice versa! It’s still 25 in the shade, mind you, and bright enough for sunglasses, not dark. But I just can’t shake this feeling. Hence all the sleeping, I suppose. Depression has no logic. I’m having a wonderful time, seeing some amazing places and meeting nice people. Even the food is good – when I can stomach any. At the moment, I am only eating fruit and pasta – can’t face anything heavier. Maybe I’ll have an early night and hope I feel more cheery tomorrow. Whatever day it turns out to be!

Sea Day – Saturday 20^th Feb

Bumpy night. Very.  Never noticed before that the trip from the bed to the bathroom was uphill… And likewise the journey back, oddly enough. Or as the passenger info channel PowerPoint on the telly puts it, “Very Rough. Force 9”. There was a calm bit at about half seven this morning. So much so that it woke me up, as if we were coming into port. But we’re back on the bumpy stuff now. How convenient for the worst weather to be hidden in the one place we have no weather forecast, so we cannot see any end in sight.

Up early today. VERY excited. Got to be ready and dressed and in my right mind and at the other end of the ship by 11am. ADAM HART-DAVIS is on board, and he is giving a talk! OMG how cool is that?! I think it’s about explorers, but frankly, I couldn’t care less. Just the chance to hear that man speak is plenty enough for me. The fact that he could make paint drying seem interesting is just a bonus.

Before that? Accidentally watching San Andreas on the telly. Wow, disaster movies are stressful! I haven’t seen one in a while, and now I remember why I avoid them. Hope my blood pressure comes down again soon. Then watched a film about a boy composer in New York, with Robin Williams as the baddie. No idea what it was called. Anyone able to tell me?

Then a bit of Spencer Kelly (BBC Click) getting downright tearful whilst visiting the heart of the LHC. Yes, I think I would too. Humans spend so much time dividing themselves from each other. It would blow my mind to be surrounded by something so enormous that really shows what we are capable of, if we work together. Yeah, you won a bit of land by shooting some people, good for you. We looked at the origins of the universe. The enormity of actually being there must be quite dizzying.

UPDATE: As predicted, Adam Hart-Davies was a wonderful speaker. And I ended up sat next to his wife, Sue, who is lovely. We sat there and pointed out all the errors he made to each other. We had a bit of a giggle. Adam didn’t make many (4 in total, and most so minor no one else would have spotted them). But the Entertainment Director made two, just in introducing him. We were already giggling before poor Adam had even opened his mouth.

Then back to a normal sea day. Lunch, fruit, Sudoku, crossword. Was going to swim, having given my eyes a day off from chlorine yesterday, but, because it was so rough, the pools have been drained. So my eyes get another day off. Probably no bad thing, all in all. It is now definitely calmer than it was, but we are still moving about quite a lot. So then back to the cabin for a siesta and a bit of Notting Hill prior to beginning the preening for yet another formal night.

Lovely dinner with everyone. Wore the red dress. Then to the cinema to see Inside Out. What a fascinatingly intellectual animation! I noticed a Brain Mind Institute listed on the credits, which explains the phenomenally detailed mind map. VERY cool. Loved it.

Then time for an early night. Tomorrow, things get really messy. Tomorrow is Sunday. We will not have Monday. The next time I type, it will be Tuesday. We cross the International Date Line, and we will skip from being 10 hours BEHIND GMT to being 13 hours IN FRONT. No, don’t ask me, I have no idea. I can’t get my head around it at all. I think I’m right in saying that I will go to bed on Sunday night and wake up on Tuesday morning, but, frankly, I don’t really have the slightest clue. How I will communicate with the UK from then on, I cannot begin to fathom. Just thinking about thinking about it is enough to give me a headache. So I’m not going to do it now. I’m going to bed. I’ve got all day tomorrow to try and figure it out. Or have I?!

Bora Bora

Or not, as the case may be. The entry to Bora Bora is through a gap in a coral reef. It is VERY shallow – around 10 metres – and our draught is eight. It is also only as wide as the ship is long, so we would not have much leeway on either side. One strong gust of wind would be devastating.  We were going to have to tender ashore anyway. We’re not. It’s far too windy and rough (wind about 40 knots (50mph) allegedly), so even if we got through without doing any damage to ourselves or the reef, we couldn’t put the tenders down anyway, because the wind, waves and swell are too great. In fact, the whole ship has been juddering against the force of it all for a couple of hours, so it was going to be a long shot. If the weather was predicted to improve later in the day, the Captain might have tried to wait it out, but this looks pretty set in, so we’re leaving.

So farewell Bora Bora. It was nice looking at you through the raindrops on the mastcam channel on the telly.

No postcards from Bora Bora, people, sorry.

No land now til Tauranga on Thursday. Just seven more sea days.

SMALL VICTORIES: Dad asked the Hotel Manager why, when he asked to clarify what time we were leaving a port, he was told he “shouldn’t have that list” which we had been given showing the (provisional) departure times for every port on the cruise. We are the passengers. If anyone has a right to know what time we are leaving a port, it’s us! We have been photocopying the list and handing it out to our mates, but last night, after dinner, EVERYONE got a proper printed copy from the Hotel Manager delivered to their postbox. We won one.

FEELING GUILTY: For something that is entirely without my control, but still. It bothers me that the bottled water now being delivered to the cabins is no longer Uruguayan local, but now labelled by Nestlé, and bottled in Chile. I hate Nestlé. Have done ever since the baby milk boycott at uni. I still feel uncomfortable every time they get my money, and I try to keep such instances to a minimum. But in this instance, it has already been purchased and brought on board, so Nestlé have already had their cut, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

I might question the claim on the front that says ‘Libre de Sodio’, when the ingredients list on the back says 1mg per 100ml. My Spanish ain’t all that, I’ll grant you, but I find those two statements incompatible.  It is also past it s Best Before date. By a month. Now, I know the difference between Best Before and Use By, but, as I paid for it, it could be argued that P&O have broken UK law. They’ll claim they’re not covered by UK law, OBViously, but it’s an interesting point, if I fancy stirring. Frankly, not sure I can be bothered.

OW: So much swimming is playing havoc with my eyes. The chlorine seems to dry them out and no amount of eye drops seems to help. May have to rest the laps for a day or too, to give them a rest.

By ‘eck it’s bumpy. It seems the weather system hanging over Bora Bora is either wider than expected, or possibly actually deteriorating.

Went for a siesta after lunch. Woke just in time for dinner! Everyone I spoke to in the evening had also been sleeping a lot. It’s so hard to stay awake when it’s rocking so soothingly. Still very rough, so staying still is the preferred option. If you’re not standing up or walking about, the ground cannot move out from underneath you. Not much internet signal.

A quiet day, all in all. I think today was Day 40. We have done one third of our total voyage already. Doesn’t time fly when you’re enjoying yourself?

Thursday – it’s definitely Thursday – Tahiti, French Polynesia

The announcement came through at almost exactly 7.30 am that we have been given clearance to go ashore. Really? Why? NOTHING will be open. The taxi drivers will be barely conscious and hardly civil. There will be nothing to see and nothing to do. This is FRANCE, people. Nothing starts till 11! Stay in bed a while longer and adjust to YET ANOTHER bloody time zone jump. We are now at GMT -10, and frankly, I’m beyond discombobulated now. I have no clue about anything any more. I need to start writing my name in my clothes in case I forget.

Got off about 10.30 ish and began the negotiations with the taxi drivers. The one at the front of the line really did not seem interested in taking us on a one-hour tour. Apparently, they think it takes four hours to see their island. And he had absolutely no intention of speaking any English to us. Why would we want a tour guide we could not communicate with?! (He didn’t know I speak French, and I decided that he didn’t need to know). But then a lady stepped in and offered to take us. She spoke perfect English and was very pleasant, so we went with her. Turned out she was a taxi driver and so we went down the line to her van. She then moved the barriers so we could drive away without waiting for grumpy git at the front of a line to get a job (or a personality). He must have done, because when we got back, he was gone. Although maybe he just gave up and went home. When I said the taxi drivers would be grumpy and unobliging, I didn’t think it would be quite so prescient.

She drove us to Venus Point, where James Cook landed to watch the transit of Venus. They say that he did, but I am pretty sure he didn’t, and he had to come back twice more to get the data he needed. There are three monuments at Point Venus – one to the Bounty (as in Mutiny on the), one to Cook and one to the first Christian missionaries to land here. There is also a square lighthouse, designed by Robert Louis Stevenson, who lived and wrote here. It is the only lighthouse on the island, and they still light it, although they now have great big metal beacons marking the shallows.

Emily, our driver, told us all about the corruption in Tahiti and the various court cases against the former President (24!). She also told us about the people of the islands and the local flora and fauna. The island is 55% Catholic, 30% Protestant. There are also Mormons, Seventh Day Adventists and Jehovah’s Witnesses. There are, apparently, no Muslims here.

Then we returned to Papeete to find some lunch. At this point, the heavens opened. It wasn’t cold – this is the Tropics, remember – so we just waited it out and then walked to a nearby shopping centre, which had a café called Retro on the ground floor. Mum and dad had burgers and I had steak and chips. People, I’m in France. This could be my last chance at a decent steak for the foreseeable future. It was so good, I almost wept. The only other item on the menu was tuna, done about eight different ways. They REALLY eat a lot of tuna here.

Afterwards, I went for a wander and did some shopping, while mum and dad went back to the ship. The humidity was ridiculous, after the rain storm, and they found it quite tiring. I returned to the ship with my purchases about an hour later, and we all went up on deck to gaze out at the town one more time before dinner. I did 20 lengths, but I would regret that for the rest of the night. Ow. I’m pretty certain there is some leg cramp in my immediate future…

Then dinner and an early night. Bora Bora tomorrow. Need to recharge the laptop, the phone, the camera, and me.

UPDATE: no leg cramp! I survived! Tonic water is marvellous stuff.

Sea Day 9 of 9 – I think it’s Wednesday 17^th, but I might be wrong

We’ve made it. Herewith the last of the consecutive sea days. I think there might be a bit of a stampede tomorrow morning, to try and get down the gangplank! I’d just be happy with a whole night’s sleep right now. we are at GMT -9 and I think we do another tonight. It makes life very difficult, particularly if you want to discuss something with someone in the UK. If I rise at 9, it is now 6.30pm in the evening for them. It’s going to make Skyping home tomorrow a little complex.

Lunch: fruit. Swim: 36 lengths. Eventually stopped because I was bored, rather than tired. The massage I had yesterday must really have cleared my muscles of lactic acid. No aching whatsoever. Lots of chats to people and Sudoku. Then changed for dinner. Laurie and Michael did not come to dinner – they must have eaten elsewhere. They were spotted during the day, so we know they are okay, although there have been some instances of, ahem, illness on the ship, which are now starting to come to light. Several people brought coughs and colds on with them, that they probably picked up on the plane. When you remove half the passengers and add 1000 new ones, fresh germs are inevitable. If we escape with mostly coughs and sneezes, though, we’ll be doing just fine.

Ohh, goody, Ambassadors is back on. Consider me fully distracted. Bye.

Note to self: Cadbury’s Flake and computer keyboards are not a good mix.

Sea Day 8 of 9 – Tuesday 16^th February

Leetle bit bumpy today. I say ‘today’, but of course, whereas it is 9.30 am here, it is 5.30 pm for most of my readers, so I hope you had a nice Tuesday. We have no internet. Don’t know why, it’s not THAT bumpy that a satellite footprint could skip past us because of us moving around constantly. We have plenty of telly, not that there is much on. Great Gatsby is back on tonight, but I may have to go to the cinema to see Agent 47 (if there are any tickets left). We’ll see nearer the time.

Today we are level with Reunion, although 8000 miles away from it! 28 degrees in the shade.

Hung around by the pool, chatting with Laurie and Michael and Ruth and Alan. Dad had left my fruit with Laurie, before he and mum went to their posh lunch, so I ate that while we talked. Dad turned up at about 2.30 and mum surfaced at about 3.15, just as I was heading off to my massage (via the library to book a ticket for Agent 47). When I got back, they had gone. But my 75 minute massage did take an hour and three quarters in total, so I can’t blame them for losing interest.

Good news/bad news. Good news: got into the smaller swimsuit today – a whole size down. Feeling a bit smug. So stuff has either been significantly redistributed, or I’ve lost some weight. Can’t find out til New Zealand though. Probably should have worn the other swimsuit, though, bearing in mind the application of massage oils. It might have been wiser to put on the clean, new one on a different day. Bad news: didn’t have time or energy for a swim today. After my massage, I could not stop yawning! Yes, that is what passes for bad news around here. That, and the lack of internet signal (the flipside of which coin is that it doesn’t cost me much!). Oy, my life is a trial.

Watched Getaway while getting dressed for dinner. Very fast moving, but quite entertaining and a nice Hollywood ending for most of the cast, if not all. Four stars out of five. If you like action movies, and particularly if you like car chases, you’ll like this. Re-watched Quantum of Solace this morning, but you already know I like everything about that film except the theme tune, so I don’t need to re-review it here.  A couple of odd cuts had been made, including the release of the water to the villagers, which I found a surprising omission – that’s pretty much the whole point of the film, I would have thought – but I have no idea who cuts these for P&O or how they think (or, indeed, if).

Laurie didn’t come to dinner, but the rest of us had a nice time. Michael said that she wasn’t ill, she just didn’t feel like a big meal. Fair enough. I know the feeling!

Hitman: Agent 47 was very good. 4.5 out of 5. An excellent, well-constructed action movie. Some good acting, some excellent set pieces, and some interesting philosophical/ moral considerations. Then back to the cabin for the rest of Gatsby. What a beautiful film. Very obviously a Baz Luhrmann work.  Haunting and so lovely to look at. He really is a master of cinematography. To take a story that, whilst written in excellent prose, is essentially quite mundane at its heart, and turn it into something quite so ethereally magical, is a very special gift.

Very late night by my standards on this holiday. I’d say 2am, but, frankly, I have no clue.