When we arrive in a port, we get an announcement on the tannoy (hopefully in the corridors and not the cabins, but the speaker in my corridor is very loud, nonetheless) to tell us when we are allowed to go ashore. This is usually at about half eight-ish in the morning. It is fairly pointless to rush off this early, in my opinion, because nothing will be open, ANYWHERE, so we tend to aim for 9.30/10, which seems (a) more sensible and (b) more civilised – we are on holiday, after all! In Japan (and Korea), nothing much opens before 11/11.30am, so rushing off in the early hours makes even less sense here. In fact, I said to Dad I would be happy to work in retail if the hours were 12-9, like they are here, and not 9-5.

You are not going to believe this.  Today’s announcement? 07:06. Heaven help you if you were planning a lie-in!

Luckily, I’m not cross, because I was already up, because we have been still for a while, and my body clock doesn’t like that, as you know. Right? So what do I do for the next two hours until my breakfast comes?!

Osaka is twinned with San Francisco but is on the same latitude as Los Angeles. So now you know.

It also has what used to be the world’s biggest passenger ferris wheel (a record now held by Las Vegas). Of course you know that the Singapore Flyer and the London Eye are not ferris wheels, but observation wheels, so I don’t need to explain that to you. 😉 Does anyone remember what I wrote about the wheel last time we were here? Something about a bear of very small brain?

So, anyway, went ashore and grabbed a taxi to the station. Turned out it was a LOT further away than Google Maps led us to believe (like TWICE the time)! Once at the Shinkansen Station (separate stations for different types of trains in Osaka – pay attention), I used the ticket machine to buy some tickets, but, although the machine spoke in English, the very last page was in Japanese only and nothing seemed to happen, so we had to give in and ask for help. A nice guard put it all back into Japanese and did it again, and completed the process for us. We ended up with 12 tickets and two receipts for just two journeys! That’s two tickets per person per trip. And you put BOTH tickets through at once into the gate. Which come out stamped – don’t ask me how. Then up onto the platform. We had unreserved tickets – which I do not recommend. Pay the extra. Get a seat number. And get one in cars 6, 7 or 8, because there although there are stairs and escalators to all three parts of the train, they all basically come out near 6, 7 or 8. And then you have to walk to the front or back to get to the numbers you actually need.

There is STEP-FREE ACCESS from street to train here. Brilliant. And barriers to prevent people falling/ jumping in front of the trains. On board, it is pretty much like any other modern train. Full of people, fairly comfy seats, but with annoyingly small windows. The trip to Kyoto takes 15 minutes exactly. Word of warning: when it says the train is 11.30, it means it LEAVES at 11.30 ON THE DOT, not that it arrives at the platform then. If you aren’t on it by then, you’re getting the next – there’s one every 15 minutes. Precision timing is everything. The ride is, as you would expect, VERY smooth and EXTREMELY quiet. You have no idea how fast you’re moving. In fact, if you don’t look out the window, you can’t even tell you’re moving at all. Very pleasant form of pubic transport travel.

While we were queuing for a cab at Kyoto station (only one big station here for all the different trains), it started to rain, so it wasn’t the greatest welcome to a new city! We went to the Westin Miyako hotel for lunch at their Shi Sen restaurant. Their Chinese food was SUPERB and the service was excellent. We also had a stunning view over Kyoto. Yes, the observant amongst you will have noticed we ate Chinese food in Japan. That’s because their Teppanaki restaurant doesn’t open until the evenings. Which was a shame.

There was a blossom chart in the hotel lobby, which said that the best cherry blossom was currently at the Imperial Palace, so we took a taxi there, instead of our planned visit to Maruyama Park. Having failed to find a wheelchair or anyone to explain the ticketing, we found some peach blossoms – the cherry blossom is still in bud, it isn’t out at all much yet. So the blossom report was wrong. Brilliant. At least the rain had stopped. And we saw some pretty trees.

Then back to the station and back on the train. This time, it pulled in as we got there, so we just jumped into the nearest carriage and sat down in allegedly reserved seats. But as it was the last stop before terminating at Osaka, we weren’t disturbed, and had a pleasant little trip back. There is no gap between Osaka and Kyoto – the buildings never cease – between one and the other. I suppose this is why it is considered one city from the point of view of the world’s largest city measurements. It’s continuous. Mile upon mile of buildings, with only the occasional playing field to break the grey with a splash of green that whizzes by so past, your eyes are still thirsty for it.

Once back in Osaka, we took a taxi to Bic Camera, the huge tax-free electronics store where, on our last visit, I bought a laptop and a camera. No such luck this time. The only computer lady who could be bothered to talk to us, did not speak enough English to make the sale. We even used Google Translate on one of the machines in order to converse! She said that all the computers now default to Japanese, and if you want other languages, you have to do a free download of a language pack. When I said I would be happy with that, as long as we could do it before leaving the store, so I knew it had worked, she could not understand. And she could not find any staff member to speak to me in English.

So we left empty-handed. I cannot spend 400 quid on a computer if I cannot be sure that it speaks the same language as I do! We were disappointed that a store aimed at tourists now hires people that don’t speak good English, but also that the prices are significantly higher than last time, relative to home. I don’t mind a price increase – it has been eight years since we were last here – but a FIVE-FOLD increase is pushing it a bit. There are some beautiful new computers coming out, but wait for the US/European versions. Another word of warning – they all now have Office pre-installed, but you need an Office 365 password to activate them. This is the way it is going to be now. We are all prisoners in Bill’s little world, and there is, as far as I can see, no way out left available.

Then back to the ship for dinner – which was much more edible than last night! Then Dad and I went back ashore to use the free wifi to Skype home. Signal was not marvellous, so we didn’t stay long. But that will be the last chance for over a week, so we had to try. Then bed and crashed. A long day. I am rather looking forward to these upcoming sea days. I’m shattered.

Before dozing off, I watched a movie starring Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore as songwriters, with Hugh playing, to all intents and purposes, Andrew Ridgley. It was a lovely film, and I really enjoyed it, despite the rather standard Hollywood ending. Does anyone know what it is called?

Slept eleven hours, with only one bout of shivering/ getting up to put on a jumper to constitute an interruption. Bliss.

Lunch, fruit, Sudoku, etc. Dad is very pleased/cross with his new kakuro puzzle book. They’re rather hard, apparently!

Formal night. Wore the new silk jacket I bought in Stanley Market, over the Falkland Islands t-shirt, which just happened to be the right colour, and looked quite ordinary because the jacket covered the penguins, so it looked like a plain top. Got LOTS of compliments on the jacket.

Unfortunately, the food was TERRIBLE. The bread roll was one of those raw dough things I got for breakfast the other day, that I had to spit out – this one disintegrated on contact into a squillion tiny crumbs – and the salad dressing was oil and mustard with no vinegar in it?! The avocado was so hard, I have literally no clue how the chef got a knife through it. It would have been easier to chew the plate it was on. Luckily, today was Eton Mess for dessert night, so I did manage to eat something! Subodh will report back my concerns to the kitchen. He was mortified.

It seems they have rotated the staff again, so we have to start over with a bunch of amateurs in the kitchen who clearly cannot serve decent food to save their lives. To be frank, on a cruise this expensive, I should not be a guinea pig for beginner chefs who cannot even tell whether an avocado is ripe or not. Even I can do that, and they named a tv series after my culinary skills.

The shoulder is better, but not better, if you see what I mean. I still have to use the sling, but mostly to remind me not to do stupid stuff, more than anything else. It still twinges if I do too much with it – like type for long periods, or open the door with the wrong hand, or lie on it for too long. Sue says I can keep the sling as long as I need to, so I’ll keep it on for a while longer, just to be on the safe side. We aren’t taking the wheelchair or the buggy tomorrow, so, at least I won’t feel so guilty about dad having to do all the work.

Tomorrow is a busy day. We are going to try and go to Kyoto in the morning, on the bullet train, to see some cherry blossom, and then come back to Osaka for electronics shopping before dinner. Wish me luck!

Then SEVEN, count them, SEVEN sea days. Lovely. Can’t wait. CORRECTION: EIGHT! WOOHOO!

Takes less time to get from Busan in Korea to Nagasaki in Japan than to get from Nagasaki in Japan to Osaka, which is also in Japan.

Woke at 7 by our arrival. It got so still, it was obvious we had stopped moving.

Breakfast is getting worse by the day. Now, in addition to the washing up sponge toast, which caused me to switch to bread rolls, today the rolls have been replaced with something that most closely represented uncooked dough. I actually spat it out, it was so foul. Luckily, mum and dad had grabbed some proper GF rolls when they went to breakfast, so I didn’t starve.

Then ashore for a bizarrely complicated fingerprinting immigration. The scanner in our line blatantly did not work – you could hear it beeping with an error noise – but she made us all do it, anyway. A very odd and utterly pointless waste of our time.

Then out. Found a taxi rank, but dad had no cash, so we sat in the sun while he went to find some. When he finally got back, we approached the only bit of dipped kerb in the area – the rest of the pavement was edged with kerb about three inches proud of the pavement (might be decorative but not very disabled-friendly). There was another taxi already there – another couple had already got it. Fair enough. So we waited for a couple of minutes, while they told him where they wanted to go. I assumed there was a language barrier. I was probably right.

But there were several people in wheelchairs waiting, and this was the only bit of dipped kerb, so I signalled to the driver to roll forward a little, so that others could also get on with their day, by getting into other taxis. He ignored me, but the huge Australian woman in the back went BERSERK. She lowered her window and started screaming at me. I don’t remember most of it, but I do remember “I have one leg!”. So? Why does that mean you get to screw up the day of every other disabled passenger? I said I was only asking him to move forward, but the screaming continued, with much lowering and raising of windows. She even screamed at me when I started talking to the people behind us in the queue (showing them that there was a dipped kerb available, just not yet), who were also with a wheelchair user. She called me all sorts, and even told me to “Take my attitude back to England”. No, really. I was utterly astonished at her – utterly vile – tirade. I’m sure I will see her around the ship in the next few days, and I will make sure to make it entirely clear to her that if she ever speaks to ANYONE like that again, let alone me, I will take serious action. She may have one leg, but she is not better than others as a result, and she is not the only person on this ship that has mobility issues and needs the use of a dropped kerb. Selfish bitch. I’m still absolutely seething – eleven hours later!

Anyway, (eventually) taxi to the Peace Park. It is basically a sculpture park, on the hill above the hypocentre (where the bomb actually dropped) with some of the ugliest sculptures I have ever seen. Many countries have contributed something they were clearly willing to get rid of. There was also a fountain in the shape of a crane – a symbol of immortality – which was very pretty. But you could not really stop for reflection, quiet or solemnity, because there were SWARMS of tourists – entire coachloads, all with a shouty guide waving a stick in the air. The noise and bustle was ridiculous, and we were not attired for the heat, either. And don’t even get me started on the selfies. So we retreated to the public loos (clean, with toilet paper and water – but no soap or hand towels), and the shop, which was playing entirely inappropriate music through its outside speakers – My Sharona?! In a Peace Park/War memorial?! Then we got another taxi to the ANA Crowne Plaza hotel (no, I have no idea what the ANA bit is about) for lunch in their French restaurant, before beginning our shopping expedition. Mum and dad had smoked salmon. I had Nagasaki Chicken and rice – which was essentially lemon and herb chicken with a very slight aftertaste kick of chilli – just enough to merit a second drink. As regards the shopping, we again walked miles, but we did quite well, this time – clothing and flash drives and puzzle books for dad. We went to a mall near the ship called Youme Town, which was very pleasant indeed, and had a 10% off throughout the store sale for one day only – which was handy. Then back home for dinner.

Everyone here is very helpful and obliging and kind. The taxi drivers have spotless vehicles (in fact, the whole city is pristine), and are more than willing to put a wheelchair in the boot, even if the lid won’t shut. In fact, they carry ropes and bungee cords especially to hold the lid shut on oversized loads. Even complete strangers want to know if you are okay, where you are from, are you enjoying their city. It’s utterly lovely, and feels very gentle after the both mental and physical aggression of China.

BBC World is running a series called What Do Artists Do All Day? It’s fascinating, and very enjoyable. If you get a chance to watch any of it, I thoroughly recommend it. I have now seen two episodes – they are not on very often – but I am absolutely hooked.

I may have forgotten to mention that, when we were sat in the terminal in Tianjin for two hours, we had to listen to the instrumental muzak, that was on a 45 minute loop. The tune that we heard first, and several times thereafter, that really made us smile was ‘My grandfather’s clock’. I haven’t heard that song in over 30 years! But I still remember all the words.

My grandfather’s clock was too large for the shelf

So it stood ninety years on the floor

It was taller by half than the old man himself

Though it weighed not a pennyweight more.

It was bought on the morn of the day that he was born

And was always his treasure and pride

But it stopped, short, never to go again

When the old man died.

Ninety years without stumbling, tick tock tick tock

His life’s seconds numbering, tick tock tick tock

It stopped, short, never to go again

When the old man died.

Woke NATURALLY! Not woken by anyone or anything! Woohoo!

Breakfast. Got off. Stalls on the quayside. Makes us feel welcome in a place. Like they really want us there. Bought a t-shirt and some fridge magnets. No postcards. It seems that Korea doesn’t really grasp the concept of the postcard – there were none yesterday either. This is making me look bad to my correspondents back home, who demanded a card from every port. But for a seaside resort not to have any, strikes me as somewhat odd. Luckily, today’s stalls had magnets for yesterday’s stop as well as today’s, so I am up-to-date on magnets, if nothing else. I think I’m going to need a bigger fridge.

Then we got a taxi to Shinsegae Centum City, the World’s Largest Department Store. They have a plaque outside with their official Guinness World Record on it. It was lovely inside. It felt very expensive. It was very expensive. In fact, I wasn’t even sure I could afford to look into the windows of some of the concessions! We walked in through Gate 1, which was located between Tiffany’s and Gucci. As you do. It felt very like Selfridges or Aquascutum did when I was young. It reeked of opulence. And the toilets were lovely.

Unfortunately, in order to cash in on the cachet, so to speak, they added a shopping mall on one end. This is all very well and good, but it is much cheaper, busier and nosier and means the floor plans of the two combined are MENSA-standard puzzles. It took me until 3pm to figure out how the floors connected together, because, for some reason, they are not all the same shape. It was an absolute maze.

We initially tried to find the electronics section, to take a look at some prices. But, it turned out that this was as far away from where we were as it was physically possible to get. I figured out we had to go down into the car park and cross to the next building. We asked a lady in the car park if we were on the right track, and she didn’t just direct us; she TOOK us. It must have been a good mile round trip out of her way. She was so lovely, but she walked really fast, so we couldn’t stop her! She took us right the way to the other end of the mall and then SHE thanked US! We were almost speechless at her kindness, particularly after the behaviour of the Chinese the other day. But it turns out that ALL Koreans behave like that. They are ALL lovely (except a couple of people involved in the exchanging of currency…ahem). And so obliging and helpful and kind. AND most of them speak at least some English, which helps.

In the electronics store, we were shown laptops that varied in price between £250 and £800, but they were all heavier than the one I currently have, so we didn’t bother. There is a new, all brushed metal Samsung coming out that you should keep an eye out for. It’s not the lightest thing in the world, but it is VERY beautiful.

Then we wandered some more, including failing to find a puzzle book for dad in one of the most hypnotically lovely bookshops I have ever seen. They have reading desks, so you can sit and read a whole book, if you want! Lovely. Just lovely.

Then we tried to get lunch. You have to queue here. There are lots of restaurants, but they are all surprisingly small. We waited for a table at PF Chang’s for about 15 minutes, but then mum could not wait any longer, so we left. All the other restaurants had queues as well, except the pizza place. So mum and dad had pizza. Again.

Some more wanderings later brought us to the food court in one of the other basements (there are four!) and then we began the trek back to the taxi rank. It took Dad about eight taxis before he found one who had (a) heard of the hotel the shuttle bus was running from (b) would take US dollars. So in we bundled and off we went. When we arrived, it turns out that the Phoenix Hotel is not functioning, it is a shell about to be demolished. It doesn’t even have a name sign up, which may explain why the other taxi drivers were puzzled. I suggested we set fire to it, but no one seemed to get the pun. We then had a row about exchange rates, because Dad wanted to pay in dollars (which had been agreed in advance). All sorted eventually, but it took a surprising amount of time.

I have never been anywhere in all my born days where so much of a city is under construction, demolition or reconstruction all at once – and that includes Rio. Roads, bridges, buildings, pavements; anything and everything is being dug up here. But, unlike roadworks in the UK, for example, every single one of these sites had workers actually working on them. None were lying idle, like in China. It was like watching the Doozers at work, but full size and using concrete and proper JCB diggers. Every road was diverted or being dug up or down to one lane or closed altogether. In fact, the only place that was quiet was the square outside the Shinsegae Centum City*, which was pristine and virtually silent and had the only dipped kerbs we saw all day.

*If you’re wondering why I keep saying the name in full, that’s because there are other, satellite, malls within the Shinsegae chain here in Busan, and I wouldn’t want you to end up at the wrong one, like some passengers did. You want the biggie. And good walking shoes.

Most of Busan is shops and blocks of flats and the port. I have never seen so many shops, I don’t think. They were all along every street, they were in underground malls beneath the streets, there were dozens of shopping centres of varying sizes and shapes and price points. Shops, shops, shops. Not all that cheap, to be honest, and most people were not carrying many bags, but an endless stream of spending options everywhere you look. Not many places to stop and eat/drink, just endless shops.

Back home for immigration by five. Time for a rest and a shower before dinner. Am surprisingly shattered, considering we bought NOTHING AT ALL today, other than the bits on the quayside. No clothes, no computers, no cameras, no cosmetics, absolutely nada, bar food and drink. I have only this blog and a store guide/map as proof I was ever even in the World’s Biggest Department Store at all.

TRIED to have a rest before dinner, but the Captain and the Entertainment Manager both thought it was far more important that I be made aware of entertainment available on the quayside and in the Crow’s Nest, instead. Why these were blasted through the cabins, I have no idea, but I am considering writing another letter. I was both tired and in pain from my shoulder, and I could really have done without it. As it was, I barely made it through dinner, before going back to bed. Much to my cabin steward’s chagrin, because he hadn’t done my turndown by the time I got back. So no pillow choccie for me tonight.

A decent night’s kip cures many ills. Not bad shoulders, though. Although the pain has now focussed, so that I am now sure it is my rotator cuff, and not the actual shoulder itself, which is what I damaged in Alaska. My physio, Karen, clearly did a formidable job on fixing that.

Jeju-do is an island off the bottom of the Korean peninsular. It is where South Koreans go on holiday. It is has several UNESCO World Heritage Sites dotted around the island, and most people speak at least some English. The ship absolutely would not provide a map of any kind, so after standing around in immigration for 20 minutes, we made finding one our priority, before boarding the shuttle bus into town. We were dropped in the centre of town a bit before 11am. Which is all very well and good, but as the shops do not open until 12 (and stay open until 9pm), this was fairly pointless. We wandered, we stopped for coffee and loos, we wandered some more, along the seafront. There is no beach on this side of the island; just a sea wall and a straight drop into the sea, which tries very hard to come over the obstacle. Suffice to say, my sunglasses are now spotlessly clean…

It was fairly cold to start with – coats and scarves and gloves – but by about lunchtime, the sun had come out, and it had warmed up significantly. The display outside the Ramada Plaza Hotel informed us that it was 17 degrees in the shade, which felt a darned sight more civilised – and it was positively warm in the sunshine. It also informed us how many kilowatthours of electricity its solar panels were producing – about half as much again as the hotel needs, I think – which seems very green indeed.

Inside, we had a late-ish light lunch and used their free, if rather slow, wifi, for a while, before heading back to the ship. Cannot Skype from here – the time zones don’t fit. My shoulder was causing me so much pain, I could not face doing any more. Two Paracetamol didn’t even make a dent in it; I would have been better off with Smarties – at least they would have tasted good! Once back on board, I took two soluble aspirin and slept for two hours. They either killed the pain, or just knocked me out cold so I didn’t care!

My friend, Sue, who broke her wrist the day we left Southampton, is now out of her cast, and has kindly lent me her sling, so I can try and remember to NOT USE my left arm for a day or so, to give it time to heal.  It got me LOADS of sympathy in the dining room!

Then bed, early night. Shattered. Another port day tomorrow, which is a struggle at the best of times, but with a bad shoulder, everything is going to be more work. I felt bad for Dad today – he pushed mum around town in the wheelchair all on his own. If we had known how flat it was, we could have taken the scooter, and she could have driven herself. Thanks, P&O.

Tomorrow: Busan and, allegedly, the world’s biggest department store… don’t tell my bank manager.

Woken by the noon announcement. That counts as a decent night’s kip, methinks! Met up with parents for Sudoku, etc. Then back to bed. Turns out it is not quite warm enough on deck for t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops, even with the roof shut. So very weary. I seem to be suffering increasingly severe slumps after busy days. I hope this is not developing into a pattern. I don’t remember feeling this awful after first and second leg port days.

Throat much better. Still a little sniffly, but no sneezing. So, yes, probably allergies provoked by the pollution. A lady at lunch had the same problem yesterday. and also met the rude people. She has no intention of ever setting foot in China ever again, either. It’s a shame, because there are some sights I would still like to see in the South – like Chengdu Panda Nursery and the Terracotta Warriors, but I have no intention of being treated like that ever again. Unless I get a written guarantee that people outside the city are nicer, I won’t bother. Ever. Now, granted, my little boycott won’t matter much to a country this size, but it’s the principle of the thing. And now I know it wasn’t me over-reacting  – others got it too – I know I won’t be coming here again. Like I said, it’s a shame, but, right now, I cannot see myself standing for that again.

Appear to have re-damaged the shoulder I nearly destroyed in Alaska –the left. I took my coat off in the car yesterday, and the scream that came out of my mouth frightened even me. What it did to everyone else, I can’t imagine. It is still hurting today. I don’t know if I should have a massage, or if that would do more harm than good.

Note to self: That shoulder does not go backwards any more. Stop forgetting. It’s quite important.

Before dinner, I tried to have a rest, but every time I dozed off, I was woken by a violent bout of shivering. It was a formal night, but I went down in tracksuit bottoms and two jumpers, ate my food and left, still shivering. It’s either (a) I’m coming down with something after all and it wasn’t just the pollution yesterday, or (b) a reaction to the fact that I ate virtually nothing all day yesterday, and my system is low on fuel, or (c) I caught a chill on my kidneys sitting in that blasted unheated terminal for two hours, or (d) I caught a chill on deck this morning, or (e) a reaction to the pain and heat in my shoulder, or (f) more than one of the above, in combination. Whatever it is, I’m going to bed (it’s 20 past eight here). And I’m putting on a jumper over my pyjamas. Of course, the one time I can do this and get away with it – nothing else I should be doing, nowhere I need to be – there is nothing worth watching on the tv on the recordings channels and precious little internet or tv signal for the live stuff. *Sigh* Now, where did I put that book…?

Because we stayed in port, it was really still, so I knew I would sleep badly, so I took a sleeping tablet. When dad rang at 8.30, he woke me up! How I was on the quayside, washed, dressed and breakfasted by 9.05, I have no clue, but I did make it.

Mr Li picked us up ON TIME and drove us into Beijing. It was a long, boring drive on a dead straight road for over 100 km. How he stayed awake, I have no idea. I didn’t. He took us to the Forbidden City first, and the traffic in the centre of the city was a nightmare. We were spoilt, last time. We came on New Year’s Eve, when the whole place was deserted. This was hideous. It took us an hour to get from the expressway to the city – I think it’s about 10km as the crow flies. We paid for a little golf buggy thing to take us round to the main entrance, but they put the ticket booth so far away from the actual entrance, we couldn’t be bothered with the slog! They also had no slopes to help wheelchairs off the kerbs, which were several inches deep. So we beat a hasty retreat back to the car and headed off to the Summer Palace instead. We have now tried and failed to get into the Forbidden City twice. We can take a hint. No disabled people welcome.

At the Summer Palace, we bought our tickets (a bit more sensibly located, this booth) and had to show mum and dad’s passports to get a senior discount for them – again with the LOOK AT THEM!  But when went through the barrier, we were confronted by a massive flight of stone steps! Why would you let a wheelchair through, up a ramp, and not tell them there was a massive great staircase up ahead?! We found some guards in green uniforms and they CARRIED mum, in the chair, up the steps. Which was very nice of them, but frankly the least they could do after having taken thirty quid of our money! Mum said it was very nice, but did nothing to alleviate her fear of flying!

Once up, it was quite flat and (fairly) smooth and we pushed her around the lake from the South Gate to the East Gate, where Mr Li picked us up. We got hopelessly lost and, although it was all very pretty, and looked especially romantic in the mist – just like paintings you have seen, I have two observations about what we encountered during this half hour walk.

1. The Chinese have never seen a wheelchair before and stare quite blatantly. They seem quite fascinated by the idea of HELPING someone old to move about. They are utterly fascinated at the idea of not making someone get up and walk, despite their infirmities. Absolutely hypnotised. They may have to provide disabled toilets by law, but they don’t seem to think much of old people. In fact, they don’t think of them at all.
2. They will push and shove you, no matter who you are, or how old you are. They will physically CLIMB OVER YOUR WHEELCHAIR if they feel you are not getting out of their way fast enough. I try very hard not to be judgemental of other nationalities (although I admit I don’t always succeed!), but what we experienced today would make anyone consider racism as a new hobby. I have never seen every single representative present of an entire nation of people treat each other and everyone around them with such disregard, disdain and outright abuse. Mr Li said it was the “out of towners”, who were also tourists, and that ‘proper’ Beijing people don’t behave like that. I’ll have to take his word for it. But I reckon that 98% of the native Chinese I met today deserve a punch on the nose and a lesson in basic manners. A bit of inconsiderate, ‘not familiar with the concept of personal space’, I can stand, but this was downright offensive, and at times bordered on physical violence. I learned a lot about the locals today, and I now see why the emperors built some epic walls to KEEP THEM AWAY. Nasty bunch. Both the Forbidden City and the Summer Palace were off limits to ordinary folk, and, having met them, I completely understand why. They’re a mean bunch, on the whole. There were exceptions, obviously, but only enough to prove the rule.

And so back to the car and back to the ship. Three hours each way does take a pretty enormous chunk out of a day. Again, the traffic was pretty hideous in the centre of town, but once we were out on the expressway, we had the place pretty much to ourselves.

Mum only ate one packet of crisps between breakfast and supper. None of us had any lunch, come to think of it. We spent too long stuck in traffic to have time for a food stop. I had a GF bread roll I had brought from breakfast, which I ate at about 5pm, in the car on the way back to the port. Dad had nothing at all, that I recall.

We overtook three P&O excursion coaches, so we knew we wouldn’t miss the ship – they can’t go without them! Dad reckoned that, with BOB being 8pm, we would be lucky to sail by 10. It is currently 9.35pm and we are still tannoying for missing passengers, so he’ll probably get it spot on. UPDATE: 10:30. Still sat here… 11.05 pm. Long soak in the shower later? Still here. And we were fretting about being back by 8! (we were at the dinner table for 7.30pm). We started moving at about ten past eleven, in the end.

The pollution in Beijing is horrible. You can taste the air, and see it. Yesterday was bright and sunny, but today was overcast. Still 16 degrees, so not cold, per se – didn’t wear my coat, scarf or gloves (in fact, I nearly left them in the boot of Mr Li’s Mercedes!)- but the air was a strange, opaque sort of yellowy-grey. On the drive back, we saw crops being burned, which was very dramatic and pretty against the night sky, but hardly helpful with the air quality thing. And there is no way that the facial cotton wool should be that colour after a twenty-minute soak in the shower. Yuk.

The shower was essential, not just because of the filth in the air, but also because I felt so grubby after using the public toilets in and around Beijing. An fyi. ALL toilets are a hole in the ground – neatly tiled and ceramiced, unless you go to (a) a five star hotel, such as, ooh, I dunno, the Crowne Plaza* (yes, I appreciate this is a step down from the Pangu 7 star hotel of last time, but we were short on options and time), or (b) find a disabled booth – they are allowed a proper sit down. This may be by the entrance door, or located as far away from said front door as possible. Apparently disabled means unable to fully squat, not unable to walk. And forget toilet paper. Actually don’t forget toilet paper. They don’t provide any. EVER. Ditto with hand soap. Luckily, mum is paranoid enough to carry all of the above at all times. I’m not sure I ever want to shake hands with a local ever again, because I have no idea when they last connected them with a cleaning product. Ick.

*As an aside, when we went into the Crowne Plaza loos, and opened the disabled cubicle door, there was a girl – a member of staff –sitting in there. She shouted at us to close the door. So I did. THEN I realised she was (a) not disabled and (b) sitting there TEXTING ON HER PHONE. So we threw her out. We kept banging on the door and opening it (disabled cubicle, so she couldn’t fix the lock without standing up – it was too far to reach!) until she buggered off. Cheeky bitch. She’s lucky mum was in too much of a hurry to introduce her to the assault options a walking stick affords – she certainly looked like she wanted to.

I have had a very raw, painful throat, croaky voice and sneezing for the past two days, but I think that was probably allergies/pollution rather than another lurgy. Only tomorrow will tell. We have one sea day before South Korea and Japan –then three port days back to back. Yikes. In fact, it takes longer to get from Nagasaki to Osaka than it does to get from South Korea to Nagasaki. Very odd.

I appreciate this sounds, overall, quite negative, but, despite all of the above, we actually had a lovely day. Mum gave it 8 out of 10, and I think Dad enjoyed it too. I’m always happy to see somewhere new. As I said to Dad in the car, there are only two kinds of holiday experience. Good ones and anecdotes. Today was a mixture of both, which suits me fine. I’ll probably not rush to come back here again, but it was a nice enough day out. Thank you to Denise for recommending the Summer Palace.

And the clocks go FORWARD tonight, which means less sleep, which is rubbish too. OBviously.

As predicted, didn’t sleep. But we were up and in our right minds (well, pretty much) and on the quayside just after 9am. They were not there to meet us. Last time, they were ready and waiting, so this was immediately worrying. We waited for a while, and then we rang them. ‘Stuck in traffic – on the way’. So we sat in the UNHEATED terminal (it’s 9 degrees Celsius today) and waited. For TWO HOURS. By which time, we had lost patience. It’s a three-hour drive into Beijing (and three hours back!), and time was running out. Constant phone calls back and forth produced nothing. And we knew there was no traffic to be stuck in, because the shuttle buses were going and returning in SHORTER times than we had been led to expect. By 11am, we were beyond angry, so we told them to cancel, and we would spend the day without them. If I hear the phrase “20 km away” ever again, I will not be held responsible for my actions.

Anyway, long story short, we took the shuttle bus into Tianjin, where P&O, unsurprisingly, took us to a shopping mall. Pleasant enough, if you have no desire to see the rest of the place. But, as P&O thought so little of this town, they didn’t even bother to mention it, except as a gateway to Beijing, we have no idea what we may or may not have missed. Mind you, they didn’t seem to care, either. No one ever offered us a map, or anything. There were some taxis offering tours, but it was a bit unclear of what, exactly. The entire port was silent. Nothing moved. It takes 45 minutes to drive out of the port and into town, so that’s a big place to have nothing happening in it. Frankly, this whole place seems deserted. We saw no one, other than a few people tending the roadside verges and some people in the mall buying nothing and ignoring their children. Meh *shrug*. We wandered, we found some EXCELLENT Chinese food, with which we stuffed ourselves silly at four quid a head, and then we went back to the ship.

I’m skipping the continuous phone calls and texts from the tour people that persisted through most of the morning and early afternoon, including several asking where we were! “I’ve been here at the port for 40 minutes” said one of the text messages. Really? Talk to me when you’ve been sat there for two hours, love, or maybe speak to your boss?! How you turning up at 11:30 for a 9am appointment makes us not being there any more OUR fault, I never did quite establish…

We tried to suggest that we simply abandon today, and reverse our plans, so that we do the things we intended to do today tomorrow, instead. But Jasper absolutely refused. He said the only way to do that would be if we were on the quayside at 6am, or else do it this afternoon. WTF?! Are you kidding me?! How can you do it in 5 hours this afternoon, but not in 10 hours tomorrow?! At this point, we realised he was an idiot, and we hung up.  You cannot hold an intelligent conversation with someone that deranged.

Turns out that the competent one, who organised everything so beautifully for us last time (Tracy), is away on holiday. So, this is my advice. I have recommended China Travel Key in the past, for the wonderful trip they provided for us on our last visit to Beijing. We have frequently recommended them, including just two days ago on board here. But if you cannot deal with Tracy from start to finish, DON’T BOTHER. The rest of them are a bunch of lying incompetents who don’t give a rat’s behind if they ruin your holiday. They will say ANYTHING by way of an excuse, even if it is such manifest gibberish that I cannot even bring myself to type it. You would not believe some of the stuff Jasper came out with. I was embarrassed for him.

As we waited for the shuttle bus back, we got talking with a taxi driver, who spoke pretty good English. He was more than happy to do the things we wanted to do tomorrow. And for less money. So he will be picking us up at 9am, and I will report back how it goes.

He also told us why the residential blocks of flats opposite the mall had some windows boarded up and hoardings all around the bases. Apparently, they were built on the cheap and the windows have a tendency to EXPLODE every so often. Entire blocks have had to be evacuated until it can be sorted out. Wowzer. That’s a flaw and a half.

Bed early. Stressful day doesn’t even begin to describe it.

No chance of a lie-in. Oh no. Not the church bells, however. Instead, it was the Captain, to apologise for how cold the weather is turning. I kid you not. That’s worth waking me up for?!

Sorted mum’s cards and presents, and got up to the restaurant in plenty of time. There were some balloons ready and waiting, so it all went very smoothly. Jonty overran by LOADS, so mum didn’t appear til nearly half 12! Mum was delighted with all her cards and presents, including several from other passengers – and a few that have already left. Their former quiz team mates had even written a poem!

Then back to the cabin. Utterly shattered. Didn’t sleep well last night. Slept for over two hours, so I obviously needed it.

Today, the sea is the colour of green jade, which seems appropriate, under the circumstances.

Dinner went well. The cake was GF, NF but quite edible. The cod was excellent. I’m hoping there will be no ill effects. Mum seemed happy with her cake and singing and people making a bit of a fuss of her.

By the end of dinner, we had entered an enormous bay, and it is now creepily calm. I doubt I’ll sleep tonight. Which is a shame, because we have a hideously early start tomorrow. Bleurgh.

Seems that every person who works at the BBC World News offices wanted a junket to Cuba. I am sick to the back teeth of trailers and stories and pictures and analysis and documentaries and background pieces and SHUT UP. I DON’T CARE. It’s not a new place, you fools, it was always there – you just didn’t pay any attention to it, because you’re so busy following the POTUS party line, which, for a supposedly unbiased international news organisation, is pretty pitiful anyway. You have not discovered a new country. SHUT UP ABOUT THE PLACE. There is currently one trailer that lists FOUR SEPARATE PROGRAMMES that they have coming up – they’re calling it a whole season. It had better not be. Even the filler bits between shows are now photos of Cuba and stupid plinky plonky pseudo-Cuban-style piano music. And that doesn’t even include the actual presidential visit. Seriously, talk about something else, I’m begging now. You’re all we have for news out here. Have mercy.

HEALTH UPDATE: no leg cramps, no digestive issues. Turns out it really might have been GF batter, after all. Which is nice. But at the same time, I have no intention of going through that kind of stress every night for the rest of this holiday.

No concentration, but that’s just par for the course!

On the downside, it can’t have been a very substantial meal, because I woke up this morning absolutely RAVENOUS. I normally don’t feel hunger – ever – but today, I had to order room service, else I was going to have to eat this laptop.

Then the usual fruit, Sudoku, etc. No swim today. Too achy and tired.

Siesta, wrap presents, write card, collate cards from others, ready for the morning. Handily, mum is going to a talk by Jonty Hearnden (*yummy, sigh*) at 11am, which gives us a clear run to get set up with her presents on the lunch table, hopefully.

Dress for formal night. Pink shalwar kameez. It’s too cold in the dining room for anything less. Tights to keep the toes warm. UPDATE: got several compliments again. I wonder why this in particular is so comment-worthy?

Ordered paella for dinner, so there was no argument about ingredients today. It wasn’t what I would call paella, but it is getting to resemble the real thing a little more each time, which I suppose counts as progress. At least it’s not the pale, white, runny risotto we got to start with, in January! This was at least orangey-red in colour, and not as soggy, so we are definitely getting there.

Simon and Garfunkel second show after dinner. Very similar to the first, although some of the slower songs changed – no Scarborough Fair, for example, this time around. Very enjoyable, nonetheless – although if it was me, I would have gone around the audience holding a mirror under their noses. It must have felt like playing to a morgue. Very little clapping, no jiggling, no singing, no response whatsoever for the most part. Even when they made us clap for Cecilia and The Boxer, I was one of less than a dozen who bothered, which was a shame. I hope the second show goes better for them (they are usually more responsive cos they’ve been drinking for longer than the first sitting bunch).