Day two means we are now moored out in the harbour and have to tender ashore (we vacated our parking spot at 4am, and the Carnival Spirit was there when we woke). There was a bit of a wait for a tender, but only about half an hour. What we eventually boarded was not one of our lifeboats, but a Sydney Harbour Tour Boat, which was very comfy indeed. It was almost a shame we were only aboard for six minutes!

We came ashore on the “other” side of the Opera House (which is called Man O’ War Quay), and walked back towards town along Opera Quay. I had a home-made artisan ice lolly from a stall called Liane Raine. I had the melon one. It was divine. Keep an eye out for these lollies, they’re lovely.

We stopped at East Bank Pizzeria for an early, excellent lunch, and then had a row at the ferry ticket office. The woman at the counter refused me a student discount, because I am not studying within New South Wales and then also said my parents didn’t qualify as seniors, because they are not taxpayers here. Neither of these alleged restrictions have applied anywhere else, and neither are they written anywhere. We told her precisely what we thought of her (I get that maybe my student status might conceivably not apply, but are you seriously going to look two eighty-year-olds in the eye and tell them they don’t qualify as OLD?!).  I then went to an automatic ticket machine on a different wharf and bought whatever tickets I bloody well chose. No one stopped us. No one checked them. The entry machine accepted the tickets quite happily. Turns out the money inside my credit card is the same colour as everyone else’s. Who knew?! And then we boarded the Manly Ferry – we were the last ones through the gate!

Manly is half an hour away on the slow ferry (18 minutes if you take the “Fastferry”, but 12 minutes is not worth twice the money!) Manly is a lovely little seaside town, with beautiful beaches and excellent waterside cafes. The town has a pleasant feel – and three main streets in a u-shape. If you get a chance to visit, I am quite certain you will enjoy it.

Then back on board in time for dinner. We have four new people. One couple: Katie and Jerry, and two singles: Janet and Margaret. Janet and Katie were VERY put out that I said mum had a regular seat, by the window, facing forward. Apparently, because Janet sat there last night (because we dared to eat ashore), it is now hers. Tough. Then they said they wanted to rotate each night, and they seemed to think that we are compelled to submit to their desires. We’ll see how that goes for them. I, for one, don’t care either way, but you bully my mum at your peril. There are some things I will not stand for. Katie and Jerry will be gone by Hong Kong, but we’re stuck with Janet all the way home, so this may continue to be a bit of an issue.

When they had finished sulking, they turned out to be fairly pleasant to talk to, and we had a bit of a laugh, swapping “cruises we have been on where we left people behind” stories. This was prompted by some repeated and rather insistent tannoy messages for certain individuals. It seemed puzzling that they kept doing the messages. BOB tonight is 10.30pm, so making announcements at 7.30 is unlikely to guarantee you a response…

I’m going to bed. I am tired beyond belief.

Happy St David’s Day.

Don’t go back. Don’t ever go back.

We disembarked and walked up to The Rocks to make a dinner reservation overlooking the water. We always eat at Wolfies if we can. The food is excellent and the service is superb and the view is breathtaking. Then we pootled around The Rocks for a bit, dodging a few raindrops. I went down the other side, to the nearest dry cleaners. That’s a LOT of stairs. My knees may never forgive me. Then we went to Pancakes on The Rocks for lunch. Like I say, NEVER go back.

Before we go any further, be warned there is absolutely no disabled access to the branch of Pancakes on the Rocks at Metcalfe Buildings. If I had realised they had other branches, I would never have suggested my parents negotiate the entire flight of wooden stairs to get there. The restaurant is also on a different floor to all the toilets. Spiffing. If you go to Pancakes on the Rocks, go to the branch at Darling Harbour. It’s on the flat. And the rest of what follows may also not apply.

So, anyway, the meal. First they sat us under building work and bits of ceiling kept falling on our heads.  So we moved tables. Then, when I ordered the beef ribs, which had been so amazing previously (about half a cow!), I got TWO ribs. TWO. It was embarrassing. That’s not a portion, under any definition. That barely justifies a plural. And they charged EIGHTEEN POUNDS for those two ribs. Seriously. What they thought they were playing at, I have no idea, but there is no way I will ever set foot in any branch of that chain ever again. It’s a shame, because they were very tasty, but I will not be conned like that twice. Considering how over-generous the portions used to be, they have clearly gone too far the other way, now. But their marketing fails are not my problem. Charging nearly forty dollars for a portion that small is not going to do well for them in the long-term. Shame, really. On the plus side, the service is nowhere near as lethargic as it used to be. But it doesn’t matter how good the service is, if the food served up is so disappointing.

Then we took the Hop on hop off bus around Sydney, disembarking at Darling Harbour. We pootled the cafes and shops for a while.

There is shockingly little wifi available in Sydney, considering the average age is so young around here. The only old people we saw were from the ship! Which may also explain the lack of disabled facilities/ toilets/ ramps/ consideration anywhere in this place. It’s rubbish. If you want wifi, you have to go to one of a limited number of cafes and restaurants, mostly big chains, and then only if you buy something. The concept of free wifi has definitely not made it across from New Zealand. So near, yet so far.

We got the bus back to The Rocks, and had our LOVELY dinner at Wolfies.  Absolutely superb meal. The main and dessert were so good, I didn’t believe they were gluten-free, and they had to go back to the kitchen to check!

Then bed. Utterly shattered. This heat and humidity is exhausting, and the excessive number of stairs seems to have damaged my right knee in some way. It really hurts. I hope it will be okay by tomorrow.  I think we are at GMT +11, but don’t quote me on that. I don’t really have the slightest clue. 83 in the shade will do that to a person.

Happy Leap Day.

Got up late. Lunch – pasta, fruit, Sudoku.

Australian face-to-face immigration. We all processed into the restaurant, got handed back our passports -which the ship holds so they do all the shenanigans most of the time, and we get left alone -processed to the other end, met one of three immigration officers, who opened the passport, counted the forms and checked they had been filled in with words (they didn’t check WHAT words!), glanced at the passport photo and up at us, and then handed them back, and then those of us staying on past Oz handed the passports and all the forms straight back to the crew and walked out. What a complete waste of time and energy. Still the three officers got a two-day all expenses paid cruise out of it, so someone was happy.

Irate email to bank. Siesta.

Busy day. Busy, busy, busy.

Last dinner with Laurie and Michael and Michael. We had a nice time and said our goodbyes. It’s sad to lose them. And always a bit scary to see who we will get next.

Spent a lot of money online tonight, talking to a friend from uni at home. Her husband, also my friend from uni (I sang at their wedding), is in hospital, seriously ill. I wish I could rush to her side and alleviate her burden, but I could not physically be further away, and it feels awful to be so unable to help.

Sunday 28^th February 2016 – Sea Day

I am trying to be methodical, so I have today downloaded all the photos from my camera thus far and put them in folders on my C: drive, divided up by port. That has taken me about an hour and a half to sort through. But I am at least now up-to-date. So far, I have taken 1.7 GB of photos (or 861 images if you prefer). Still some editing in my future, I think! It took just under ten minutes (9m 50s) to make a backup copy onto a flash drive. Better safe than sorry. Our friend, Pauline, managed to delete the entire first two sectors off of her camera, whilst trying to download to her laptop, so she has nothing to show for the first month of the cruise, which is very sad. I’m not normally so paranoid about backing up, but I’m prepared to be over-cautious, rather than under, on a trip like this.

We’re all so tired today, we don’t know what we’re doing. Everyone is crotchety and grumpy and loss of appetite is widespread. We are all a bit shell-shocked after the past few days. “Doing” a city in a day is not an easy task, at the best of times, and in high humidity, it really takes it out of you; doing three on consecutive days is just silly. Everyone is exhausted. And most of us have lost all interest in food and eating. I have no appetite at all, and Dad has started skipping meals.

We are also in the midst of some rather bumpy weather. As I and Tomasz Shafernaker predicted, we have bumped into what remains of Hurricane Winston, and it’s not a smooth ride, even with the rain to hold things down a bit.  We are really pegging it, to try and get out of the way – averaging over 20 knots all night, when we normally slow down to between 10 and 15 – but it still caught us.

Which, all combined, explains the hour and a half siesta I had to take. And no one seems particularly overjoyed at the idea of another formal tonight At All. No, sirree. I wore what I always where when there is a formal night I can’t be bothered with – the Monsoon dress, no jewellery. C.B.A.

Bit of a todo at dinner. Yesterday, Married Michael suggested we go to the Ocean Grill for chateaubriand tonight – the last formal of the leg before we lose all our remaining tablemates (Dale and Paula having left at Auckland). It ended up with me and Michael and Michael, which is silly, because chateaubriand is normally shared between two, and there were three people. So we went our separate ways, and I thought no more about it. Clean forgot it, to be honest. Tonight, when Single Michael arrived, he said that Married Michael had reiterated the invitation and were we going. I said no. Firstly, I was not hungry (I really am not – see above), and secondly, I’ve just sat down to eat with my parents, who were not apparently invited. In addition to which, we pre-order our meals, so that decision was also already taken. I suggested Single Michael go with them, but he wasn’t keen either – having had afternoon tea, and so little appetite left himself. Neither was it clear that there was even a table available at the Ocean Grill. So he rang back and said no. Married Michael came to join us for dinner alone.  He said he’d take something back with him afterwards for Laurie, which he duly did, although I didn’t see what.  We had a pleasant meal and then went our separate ways. It’s a shame we didn’t work it out properly in advance, because the food in the grill is very good, but with pre-orders and parents and a striking lack of appetite, it’s not easy to be spontaneous, however good the chateaubriand will taste. And I really wasn’t in the mood for a three-hour meal. I’m just too tired. I’ll be in bed by 10. I don’t have the energy to still be on desserts and coffees at that hour. Not today. Shattered.com. Absolutely pooped. Talking of which, my duvet is calling. Gnite.

Had a chat with a man yesterday, who swore blind he was getting off on Monday in Sydney. I wish him all the best with that, because we don’t dock there until Tuesday, so he’ll have a hell of a swim ahead of him. He was stridently adamant, to the point of almost being rude, rather sarcastically pointing out that February has 28 days. Apparently he has not twigged that this is a leap year. How can you not know when your holiday ends?! Has he not booked onward travel?! A taxi or a train or anything? Good grief.

Tender port. Oh goody. This means a little extra thinking around corners, because once you go out the door, you’re looking at an hour round trip to come back for anything, so you have to plan very carefully indeed.

Weather: Warm, overcast, humid as hell. Moisture coalescing on the skin like you’re a coke straight out of the fridge. Sea colour: khaki. No wind to speak of.

Getting off was surprisingly straightforward, as it turned out, although the tender took about 15 minutes to get to the dock at Waitangi. The nearest town is Paihia (which, as the very friendly local greeter explained, should be pronounced Pie –here, which, frankly, I had already figured out for myself!). We took the shuttle bus from Waitangi into Paihia and wandered the craft fair and a few shops.

Then we had an early lunch/brunch on the water. And I mean ON the water. ‘Alongside 35’ is built out on a jetty over the bay and the view is spectacular (the restaurant next door is called 35 South, in case you were wondering about the name). The food was surprising in some ways – the guacamole had sweetcorn in it, for starters – but very tasty nonetheless, and I got my chicken in gluten-free bread, which was a nice touch. The chips were SUPERB. Heaven only knows how they were cooked, or what in, but they were phenomenally good.

While we ate, we watched boats going in and out of the marina moorings, including some parasailing trips and jetski tours (?!), as well as the helicopter that landed next to the restaurant to take people on air tours over the Bay. It literally landed on a patch of grass next to the car park. It can’t have been more than ten feet square, with trees on one side and buildings on the other. Quite impressive.

Then we took the shuttle back to Waitangi pier to pick up the boat we were taking to tour the Bay of Islands for three hours.  The mist came down, along with a light rain, so the view was mostly rubbish, with clouds obscuring the tops of the hills and islands we passed, and it was also quite rough (some were unwell, but we were fine), but we went all the way out to the Hole in the Rock (which really is a rock that the sea has carved a hole in), although our boat could not pass through, as it normally would, because it was too bumpy to do safely. Frankly, I was surprised the trip went out at all. There didn’t seem a lot of point given the conditions. On the way back, we met a school of dolphins, which will be most people’s highlight memory of the trip. Then back on the tender and back to the ship for a rest/ shower before dinner.

Next to the bridge between Waitangi and Paihia, there is a ship moored. The story goes that the ship went up river to make deliveries some years ago, and by the time it came back down, the bridge had been built, and so it has been trapped inside ever since. It’s a lovely tale. I hope it is true!

All in all a very pleasant day, although if I had known how rough it would be, and how poor the visibility, I would have sacrificed the boat trip (and the dolphins) and explored Paihia a bit more. It looks like a very pleasant little town.

Before you ask, there is literally nothing at Waitangi except a yacht club, a hotel and the historical site (where the Maoris signed their treaty with the English). And the jetty. We just moored there because Paihia is too shallow for our tenders.

Estapona is on The BBC Travel Show this weekend! Cool! They are talking about Bossaball, which is a new sport that seems to be a mixture of trampolining and volleyball. It looks fun but exhausting.

Tonight the clocks go back. AGAIN. But the sea days will be very, VERY welcome. We are all absolutely shattered. Three ports in three days is hard at the best of times, never mind in this humidity.

Perfect day. Gorgeous weather (25 in the shade, blue skies, perfect), lovely city, friendly people. They even put out a red carpet for us! A bit expensive. Scratch that. Holy cow, NZ is expensive. I was a little perturbed yesterday, but today it really hit home. £5 for a bag of Haribo. No wonder everyone here is so virulently healthy. They can’t afford the naughty stuff!

We took the hop on, hop off bus to see the place. It’s very pretty by the water, and then becomes a city ‘proper’ as you go further inland. There is a lot of water. Auckland is spread across several islands, and has one of the highest rates of boat ownership in the world. So LOTS of water. It was a little alarming that the first thing you see when you boarded the tour bus was a massive great toolbox under the driver’s seat. And the double-decker bus (although not open-topped) clearly was not designed for the many steep hills on which Auckland is built. The engine had to work very hard indeed sometimes. Yikes. But we made it in the end, so all’s well that ends well, and all that.

We went to the Skytower and I went up it by myself. The view was spectacular, and the glass lift made my ears pop! Particularly excited to be able to get a student discount. Then we went to Viaduct Harbour and sat by the marina to have our lunch (the restaurant we chose was Neptun’s, for those of you who might be interested, and yes, that is the correct spelling), watching the boats and ships coming in and out – all different shapes and sizes; from one man standing on a surfboard, to a ferry carrying several hundred people, going out to one of the islands. The sea was turquoise, the food was delicious, the weather was hot and the sailing yachts were very, very pretty.

That’s about it, save to say that I think I now get why people want to move halfway across the world to live here. It’s very pleasant. The whole city is spotlessly clean – no graffiti, no chewing gum, no litter. Everyone is friendly and helpful and kind and considerate. They drive on the left. Their pedestrian crossings give enough time for even slow people to cross without fear. It’s very much a home from home, but the weather is never this good at home.

Had a bit of a barney with Security when getting back on board. When you show your cruise card, as you must (today FOUR times between land and deck – passport control (and yes, we had to show passports too), land end of the airbridge, ship end of the airbridge (how can you skip the inspection and arrive at one end of the airbridge tunnel without having got in at the other end?!), and then the barcode swipe at the door, where your photo appears on the computer screen to confirm you are who you should be (my pic has me in a fleece and scarf combo – I look very cold – well, it was taken in mid-January!). When this happens, some of them have this disgusting habit of insisting on grabbing it, in order to look at it. Some have learned that we don’t want them to do that, for hygiene reasons, but some have not.  This is a sector change hub. More than 500 people have embarked today, mostly straight off the plane, with all the germs they could accumulate in the space of 24 hours of recycled air. And the guy at the ship end of the airbridge is grabbing every single card. There cannot be a more efficient way to spread Norovirus between passengers. I wouldn’t let him touch it, only look, and so he grabbed me by the arm and, when I wrenched myself free, he shoulder barged me to try and stop me boarding.  That’s the legal definition of assault under UK law. Then he called his supervisor, and his supervisor blocked my path and called the Head of Security. Which fits the legal definition of imprisonment without cause (kidnap) under UK law (which is defined as being denied the ability to move in any direction, for the more detail-minded among you). The Head of Security, as those of you with good memories will recall, is named Martin, and we have already met. When he arrived, we had a chat. He said I should let them do their jobs. I said they don’t have to spread disease in order to read the cards. They need to think of us, too. We parted on fairly friendly terms, but now he can say he has “spoken to me” about it, and so all honour is served all round. But if another member of security ever lays a hand on me ever again, we will be having a FAR more serious conversation.

There is a very strange attitude on this ship to Norovirus. They seem thoroughly disinterested in prevention. It’s as if they have decided it will recur, no matter what, so there’s no point in stressing about prevention – only containment when it comes. But I have no intention of spending my holiday in the bathroom, thank you very much, so I will protect myself, and God help you if you try and stop me. I already have several waiters trained to give me two squirts of hand gel, instead of one. I’m not taking any chances. And letting some germ-covered security fool in a high viz pass other people’s germs on to me, just because he thinks it makes him look more conscientious, is NEVER going to happen. You’ll be kicking me off the damn ship before I’ll let that happen, you have my word on it. No one else is responsible for my health and wellbeing. I am. and I am not allowing anyone to expose me to unnecessary risks.

An annoying end to an otherwise lovely day. Tomorrow: Bay of Islands, wherever that is!

Wednesday 24^th February.

At least I think it is, for us, if not for you in the UK. Oh, I dunno.

Last sea day for a while. Tried to make it as relaxing as possible, which isn’t too difficult! Don’t think you really want to hear it all again. You know the score: fruit, Sudoku, etc.

Meh. That’s about it, really.

Thursday 25^th February. Tauranga, New Zealand (pronounced Taronga)

Although we didn’t go to Tauranga, in fact. We moored in a small seaside town about 5 miles away, called Mount Maunaganui. This place is lovely. Very like England, but with WAY better weather! (low twenties in the shade, high twenties in the sun) And they drive on the left! It is very green here, so I reckon it must rain quite a lot at times, but it was gorgeous today.

Mount Maunaganui is basically our favourite kind of town – with one main street, all on the flat, with a friendly atmosphere and good weather. Ideal.

Tauranga prides itself on being the first town in the world to offer free wifi throughout. Which is fab. But sadly, the free and gratis bandwidth in Mount Maunaganui is really not up to the arrival of several thousand crew and passengers, none of whom have had a decent connection for over a fortnight. We found a small café called Ambrosia, which doesn’t normally allow customers to use its connection, and so we had excellent bandwidth for Skyping home, because no one else was using it! Unusually, we also managed to get hold of everyone we needed to, which was an added bonus.

We ate in a café called The Bach, and then pootled around the shops. There were no big chains here, so every shop was interesting and different. A lot of the goods were marked as being made and designed in New Zealand. They are clearly very proud and protective of their artisans and designers.

I think I purchased the last pair of goggles in the whole town! I tried four stores before I found one that had one pair left. Then we went back to the shore and sat for a while by the water, watching people and chatting to locals who were using the beach. Everyone here is so lovely, it’s ridiculous.

Then had to have a siesta for a bit. Then dad and I went back out to use a bit more free wifi to do some email and chores and then we got back on board just in time for dinner. Only Michael made it. Paula and Dale and Laurie and Michael had hired a car to explore together, so we weren’t surprised when they didn’t make it. But it dawned on me that Paula and Dale will disembark tomorrow, at Auckland, so we may never see them again! Gulp.

So excited to see the Flying Scotsman in Kings Cross, preparing to go up to York. And it departed bang on time. Which is unusual on that line! Fab. I wish I could have been there. But £400 a ticket for one trip is a bit steep.

May have burned the top of my head. It’s a bit warm…

Mad Max Fury Road. Not bad. Bubblegum for the soul. No value, no insight, no taste.

Valkyrie. Rather stressful but really quite good.

For me, it is now 9am on Tuesday 23^rd. For you, it is 8pm on Monday 22^nd. Still with me?!

A quiet day of fruit, pasta and Sudoku. Adam Hart-Davies gave another talk, which overran slightly, but was thoroughly enjoyable, as expected. The theatre was quite cold, though, so I did rather leg it out the door at the end. I hope he wasn’t offended!

Went down to the Medical Centre so they could give me my B12 jab. £50 for the injection of a product I supplied myself. *sigh*.

Today is 60s and 70s night, so a little bit of dressing up required. Velvet trousers and flared sleeves.

Dinner was pleasant enough. Laurie and Michael did not come to dinner, but that meant that we got to have a good chat with Paula and Dale. We talked about television programmes from our younger days. It’s amazing what crosses over the pond and what doesn’t. For example, they knew Bilko, but not Top Cat. Which was based on Bilko. Very odd.  When we discussed movies, Dale said that he hated Hot Fuzz and did not enjoy it at all. Michael and I were flabbergasted. We’ve never met someone who didn’t enjoy Hot Fuzz. Funny old world.

Michael has a bad tooth, but he was coping quite well until dessert. Ice cream followed by coffee really hurt him and he went very red in the face and left early to go and find some more painkillers.

Tonight, I asked the captain about Hurricane Winston, which has devastated Fiji, and now appears to be tracking on a course that will meet up with us at Auckland. He said it was coming, but that it would weaken as it passes over cooler water. Dale says the water has to be at least 28 degrees Celsius to allow the formation of a cyclone, so the cooler the water, the less energy the storm will have. I hope they’re both right!

It is now 11pm for me on Tuesday 23^rd. I think it is 10am in the UK. This is all getting very confusing.

I’m so tired. No matter how much I sleep, I can’t shake this drowsiness. I spend most of my time just fighting to keep my eyes open.  I think I shall surrender and go to bed. I’ve probably long since stopped making sense anyway, so it’s probably best I stop typing.

Sea Day – Sunday 21^st Feb.

I’m not sure why the new episode of Sleepy Hollow is always shown on a Sunday morning. Someone’s idea of a joke, perhaps. We have a channel called Prime US. Never heard of it before, but it seems to show stuff I like. Now we have NCIS: Cyber. Entertainingly, one of the guest actors is called Booboo Stewart. Is that a real name?! What a bizarre choice. I know that every actor has to have a unique name, under Equity rules, but frankly, Booboo? Seriously?! Prime US must be pre-recorded, because it shows trailers for movies that will be released in time for Christmas 2015. I really want to see Deadpool. That has to be the best trailer I have seen in a very long time.

Apparently, yesterday the Entertainment Manager won a bet in the cricket nets, and now the Hotel Manager is his slave all day. She has to do his announcements, shine his shoes, feed him a Creme Egg on the hour every hour, and glue diamantes to one of his ties! I have been woken by less amusing announcements.

Sundays are sad days. Every set of church bells over the tannoy tolls the end of another week. Six weeks down, ten to go. *sigh* It seems hard to believe that so much of this cruise is already behind us.

Okay, now I officially need a lie down. The noon announcement from the Bridge has just explained that we are going forward 23 hours, and we achieve this by putting the clocks BACK one hour and waking up on Tuesday. Like I could be more confused than I was before. My poor brain.

Tomorrow’s newspaper was delivered. Twice. One for the 22^nd and one for the 23^rd.

The one for the 22^nd offered free spa treatments, helicoptering in fresh goods to the shops –requests taken, and a port talk on a new excursion to somewhere called The Moon. There is a new guaranteed weight loss method available in the Spa’s piranha tank – cost: one arm and one leg, and a class called Kleptomaniacs Towel Folding (bring someone else’s towel). It’s a shame the Naked Bungee Jumping is only available to those over 80, but I’ll console myself with the Strip Name that Tune quiz later. Although with the dance lesson being body popping and break dancing and the late night disco being a drum and bass rave, I’ll have a busy day.

Seven people will miss their birthdays. Does that mean they stay the same age for another year?

Today was a quiet sea day. The pool has water in again, but I was so tired, I didn’t go in. just had lunch and then went back to bed! Slept til dinner time. Either I’m coming down with something or I am going through a spate of depression. I feel very apathetic and gloomy. The weather was a bit overcast today, which didn’t help. I am always quite susceptible to a pathetic fallacy – although I thought the weather was supposed to reflect my mood, not vice versa! It’s still 25 in the shade, mind you, and bright enough for sunglasses, not dark. But I just can’t shake this feeling. Hence all the sleeping, I suppose. Depression has no logic. I’m having a wonderful time, seeing some amazing places and meeting nice people. Even the food is good – when I can stomach any. At the moment, I am only eating fruit and pasta – can’t face anything heavier. Maybe I’ll have an early night and hope I feel more cheery tomorrow. Whatever day it turns out to be!

Sea Day – Saturday 20^th Feb

Bumpy night. Very.  Never noticed before that the trip from the bed to the bathroom was uphill… And likewise the journey back, oddly enough. Or as the passenger info channel PowerPoint on the telly puts it, “Very Rough. Force 9”. There was a calm bit at about half seven this morning. So much so that it woke me up, as if we were coming into port. But we’re back on the bumpy stuff now. How convenient for the worst weather to be hidden in the one place we have no weather forecast, so we cannot see any end in sight.

Up early today. VERY excited. Got to be ready and dressed and in my right mind and at the other end of the ship by 11am. ADAM HART-DAVIS is on board, and he is giving a talk! OMG how cool is that?! I think it’s about explorers, but frankly, I couldn’t care less. Just the chance to hear that man speak is plenty enough for me. The fact that he could make paint drying seem interesting is just a bonus.

Before that? Accidentally watching San Andreas on the telly. Wow, disaster movies are stressful! I haven’t seen one in a while, and now I remember why I avoid them. Hope my blood pressure comes down again soon. Then watched a film about a boy composer in New York, with Robin Williams as the baddie. No idea what it was called. Anyone able to tell me?

Then a bit of Spencer Kelly (BBC Click) getting downright tearful whilst visiting the heart of the LHC. Yes, I think I would too. Humans spend so much time dividing themselves from each other. It would blow my mind to be surrounded by something so enormous that really shows what we are capable of, if we work together. Yeah, you won a bit of land by shooting some people, good for you. We looked at the origins of the universe. The enormity of actually being there must be quite dizzying.

UPDATE: As predicted, Adam Hart-Davies was a wonderful speaker. And I ended up sat next to his wife, Sue, who is lovely. We sat there and pointed out all the errors he made to each other. We had a bit of a giggle. Adam didn’t make many (4 in total, and most so minor no one else would have spotted them). But the Entertainment Director made two, just in introducing him. We were already giggling before poor Adam had even opened his mouth.

Then back to a normal sea day. Lunch, fruit, Sudoku, crossword. Was going to swim, having given my eyes a day off from chlorine yesterday, but, because it was so rough, the pools have been drained. So my eyes get another day off. Probably no bad thing, all in all. It is now definitely calmer than it was, but we are still moving about quite a lot. So then back to the cabin for a siesta and a bit of Notting Hill prior to beginning the preening for yet another formal night.

Lovely dinner with everyone. Wore the red dress. Then to the cinema to see Inside Out. What a fascinatingly intellectual animation! I noticed a Brain Mind Institute listed on the credits, which explains the phenomenally detailed mind map. VERY cool. Loved it.

Then time for an early night. Tomorrow, things get really messy. Tomorrow is Sunday. We will not have Monday. The next time I type, it will be Tuesday. We cross the International Date Line, and we will skip from being 10 hours BEHIND GMT to being 13 hours IN FRONT. No, don’t ask me, I have no idea. I can’t get my head around it at all. I think I’m right in saying that I will go to bed on Sunday night and wake up on Tuesday morning, but, frankly, I don’t really have the slightest clue. How I will communicate with the UK from then on, I cannot begin to fathom. Just thinking about thinking about it is enough to give me a headache. So I’m not going to do it now. I’m going to bed. I’ve got all day tomorrow to try and figure it out. Or have I?!