Day Seven – Sunday 15^th November – Ajaccio

Woken at 9.30 by an announcement. Watched Paddington and half of Frozen (up to and including Fixer Upper, which is my favourite song) before we met up and went ashore. Warm, sunny day in Corsica. Wandered around Ajaccio (pronunciation apparently ajaxio) which, being a Sunday in France, was, as I predicted, mostly shut. And that was before we knew it would be a day of national mourning. Corsica and Ajaccio in particular are obsessed with Napoleon, because this is where he was born.  He’s EVERYWHERE.

We found two markets, one big, one little, near the port which sold little of interest to us – mostly food and a few really ugly shoulder bags (well, I say near the port – it’s all ‘near the port’. The whole town is basically three roads that run parallel to the water – two pedestrian, one with cars – with a square at one end that has a statue of Napoleon dressed in a toga (why in a toga? Because he fancied himself as a classical god)). The girl who gave the port talk on the ship had no idea that the guy in the toga even was Napoleon. It’s pathetic. Granted, it’s not the attire he is usually associated with, but if you’re giving a talk on a place to others, could you not have done even the most meagre modicum of research – like maybe even reading the port guide provided by your own company?! Grrrr.

Got conned in a café (the Café Latin, if you want to protect your wallet on a visit here) – we ordered small hot chocolates, got billed for large – which was a shame, because we were thinking of stopping there for lunch. Good thing though, because, thanks to their grasping dishonesty, we found somewhere much nicer further on.  Le Mimo on the Rue Fesch is a little restaurant with the nicest owner ever. He was all on his own, so he was limiting his menu, so that he could still run around after customers and cook at the same time, but he did us the nicest steak and chips I can recall having in a very long time – two between the three of us worked quite well. And I think the chips were done with sweet potatoes. Lovely.

We pootled around the town and found not one, but two clothes shops that were open, so we shopped in both, as a thank you for bothering to open for us. And mum took the buggy up a very steep hill, as a sort of test drive. She shot up there, no problems. But we couldn’t climb it fast enough to keep up with her, so she had to wait for us at the top! And then back onto the ship at about 2. Absolutely shattered. My glutening has seriously affected my stamina and pain levels, so I am capable of even less than usual. Went for a nap and slept for THREE hours straight, this time. Barely up and in my right mind in time for supper!

Had a bit of a todo at dinner. We arrive at 6.30 and are supposed to be out by 8, so that we can get to our evening activities, and they can reset for second sitting. At five past seven, we had eaten nothing and the table next to us was being served their main course. There are two starter courses possible, with a soup course between the starter and main, so they were THREE courses ahead of us. Even Dad was getting angry. Lots of grovelling apologies and some half-baked excuses later, we got some food, and were finished by ten past eight, but we had to get really cross first.

Helped Dad plan their day in Florence tomorrow while mum went to a classical music thing. Although this was quite tricky, because the port guide did not contain a map – feel free to read that again – the port guide did not contain a map, and Reception could not have cared less. Usually Reception provides maps when they are missing, so we were quite surprised by their apathy. But we are a resourceful bunch. So we went to the library and the librarian photocopied the map from the Rough Guide to Florence for us. Pitiful that that is necessary, but there you go.

Made a complaint at reception about holding a noisy sailaway deck party when leaving a country in national mourning. Talk about crass. Apparently no one went, but the party would have gone ahead anyway, and I’m sure they heard us, nonetheless – they make those parties as loud as possible. Mortifying.

Lost the quiz on a three-way tie-breaker. We were two years out. One team was spot on. Good. No brass polish to drink, but nice to come that close.  Had a late night snack and drink with Gary (cabbie), Cheryl (?) and Ross (NHS24 doctor). Family at the next table with a very little girl – maybe two or three years old – shouting very loudly. Shouldn’t really have still been up at half midnight, in my opinion. We were particularly entertained when she used the phrase “Bloody Nora”, and in the correct way/context, too. Shouldn’t laugh really, but it really was quite funny. And then an early night, ready for port day 2 of 5 tomorrow. Livorno/Pisa/Lucca/Florence.

Day Six – Saturday 14^th November – Sea Day

Woke to the story of the attacks in Paris. There are no words for the level of sadness I feel. Did nothing all day. Just wandered around, talking to people, asking why people do things like this to each other.

Yesterday, I managed to accidentally gluten myself. So I had an interesting night, but for completely different reasons.

Black and white formal night. Saddened, as usual, at the number of women on board who think that black and white means red or bright blue or whatever other colour they feel like wearing. It’s such a simple request. Who doesn’t own a black dress, for pity’s sake?!

Not in the best of moods.

Day Five – Friday 13^th November – Gibraltar

Hideously early start. And I mean hideous. I’m supposed to be on holiday! Went ashore without problem (this, in itself, is quite noteworthy for P&O!). The man selling tickets for the little minibus shuttle service into town said they were quite happy to take the buggy, until you mentioned it to the actual driver, and then he got all sullen and stroppy. When we said we would lift it into the boot, he just got his mate and did it for us, so why he felt the need to be so negative about it first, I am not sure.

Anyway, we love Gib, and would much rather have had a whole day, rather than a lunchtime departure. P&O are so stupid and thoughtless sometimes. Bought two evening dresses in BHS and a bolero and some soft but smart trousers in Bon Marche and pootled some other shops. Mum bought a lot of makeup. Gib is entirely tax-free, so some things are significantly cheaper here. Unleaded petrol is 85p a litre and diesel is even cheaper. Needless to say, the ship bunkered here! Then we had to head back to the ship – no time for even a coffee. Such a shame. I wish P&O would give us longer here, it’s not fair on them or us.

I was surprised at the amount of Spanish I heard being spoken in Gib. I assumed that, being so trenchantly British, and what with all the Spanish politicking, everyone would speak English, but apparently you have to be bilingual here. 7000 Spaniards a day cross the border to come to work here (and go back again at night), so they even have traffic jams here too.

Nice to see a proper policeman with a proper helmet on his head, and red post boxes and so on. It’s a little taste of Britain, but with WAY better weather. 20 in the shade and a warm breeze. Very pleasant.

Was so shattered when we got back though, that I could barely chew my lunch. Went for a nap. Two hours later…!

Then minor chores like hanging up new clothes, writing postcards, a bit of work, etc. til it was time to meet for dinner.

Tomorrow is the last restful day for a while. After that, I think it goes:

Sunday: Ajaccio

Monday: Livorno (Florence/Pisa/Lucca)

Tuesday: Monte Carlo/Nice

Wednesday: Barcelona

Thursday: Cartagena

By the time we get through that lot, I imagine most of us will be way too shattered to do much but sleep all the way back to Southampton!

Luckily for me/us, Barcelona and Cartagena will be fairly relaxed, because we have been to both before, so we don’t feel the need to rush around ‘doing’ stuff. But even so, who thought five port days in a row was a good idea?! Usually you can knock me down with a feather after three. Five, I dread to think.

Come to think of it, Ajaccio is Corsica, which is France, and we are there on a Sunday, so chances are, most stuff will be shut anyway, so that won’t be a busy day, I wouldn’t imagine. There will probably be a market and a coffee, but that’s probably about it. I haven’t researched it in detail, but that would be my guess. That list still makes me tired just looking at it though!

We won the quiz tonight, which was nice.

Day Four – Thursday 12^th November – Sea Day

No idea where today went. There was lunch and I did some work and there may have been a nap and that’s about it. It doesn’t take long to settle into the rhythm of things! Ship is still a little rocky, but no one is being ill any more – it’s not that bad. Clear skies and calm seas. We passed Aurora going the other way today – on her way back to Southampton. We would have done a communal wave, but the bridge didn’t bother to mention it until we had gone well past, so they wouldn’t have seen us. Shame, really, we normally always wave to other cruise ships (after playing guess the ship, based on funnels and decoration). I was right in guessing Aurora, so had a few seconds of smug to enjoy.

Formal night again. Managed to wear the same dress, because the new people at our table hadn’t seen it the first time!

After dinner, went to see Jon the comedian’s second show. Actually, very enjoyable. He is a superb piano player and some of his songs were loud out loud hilarious. He has one for people who arrive late to a show, which is particularly gigglesome.

Then the quiz – joint third today – and then a drink with Ross in the “nightclub”. I’m getting the impression the DJ doesn’t like his job, because he just played what he felt like, and wasn’t in the least bit interested in whether the passengers were enjoying it or not. Ross is a fun person to chat to, mind you. But I might remind him to buy his girlfriend a present, as I don’t think he has yet. Having left her at home, I think he owes her something!

On the way to my cabin, I had to look out the window. The ship was so still, I had to check we were still moving. We were.

Woke in the night to the lovely, haunting wail of the fog horn, so that explains that then (mist and fog and rain “hold down” the sea, so if there is little enough wind for fog and mist to form, the sea is usually very still indeed).

Tomorrow: Gibraltar.

Day Three – Wednesday 11^th November – A Coruna

Or, as P&O insist on calling it, for some reason, La Coruna. Known as the Crystal City because of the style of balconies on nearly every building, all enclosed in little framed windows.  It’s like looking at a hundred vertical greenhouses, all side by side. Odd, but not unattractive.

Nearest port to Santiago de Compostela, the third most important pilgrimage site for Christians – burial place of the disciple, James (and home to the world’s longest censer). Or, as the P&O put it, “one of the top three” pilgrimage sites, which doesn’t mean quite the same thing! Gorgeously warm, sunny day with blue skies and no breeze whatsoever. Pootled into town with mum on the new buggy creating just a little bit of havoc wherever she went.

We had coffee in a beautiful square in the old town, opposite the rather ornate town hall, stood for the two minutes silence, and then wandered the shops. We ate our lunch at the NH Hotel Atlantico (no idea what chain NH is part of, or what it stands for). They had a buffet laid out – you’ll see the photos when I have a chance to upload them (not happening at 20p a minute- sorry) – you could have fed the five thousand, no problem. Long time since I’ve seen that much food all laid out on a row of tables.

They explained the gluten-free options to me very carefully, and I had steak paella with salad and fresh fruit for dessert. They also had a small portion of orange jelly with chocolate sauce, which was seriously yummy.  And all the fruit juice, wine and soft drinks you could wish for included in the price. I don’t know how many stars that hotel had, but even the loos were stunning. I was very impressed. It had looked so unimpressive from the outside!

In other news, I appear to have done a minor mischief to my right shoulder – probably during yoga yesterday – which means that pulling the buggy is a less than enjoyable experience. But a nice steward carried it back up the gangplank, and a big, strong man at the hotel carried it up and down the steps there for me, so I haven’t had to do nearly as much as I feared. Hopefully said ache will have worn off by the time we get to Gibraltar. Might need a massage tomorrow. I’ll see how it is in the morning. Weather forecast for tomorrow: 20 degrees and sunny. We are still moving about a bit now, though. Hopefully things will calm down once we turn left.

New people on our table at dinner.

Eddie and Mary from Warrington (originally Scotland)

and Cath and Richard from Paignton in Devon, but who used to live in France.

Very nice, all. Eddie and Mary speak very quietly, but we all got along quite well. They all said they would come back tomorrow, which is very flattering for us, because it hasn’t happened yet! Eddie’s steak order was a disaster, and mum’s egg mayonnaise waited a long time for the unification of egg and mayonnaise to occur (they were not delivered together), but other than that, the food orders went quite well, and everyone seemed to enjoy their food. So far, so good.

Day Two- Tuesday 10^th November – Sea Day

Woke to find my room toasty warm. Not suffocatingly hot, just right. Good thing too, because it’s a bit blowy out, still, and so it’s nice to have somewhere warm to come back to. This became especially important after dinner. Black tie/formal, so open toes shoes and pretty dress. Now, it turns out, that the Arctic destination of the day is… The restaurant. It was so cold that by the time the main course arrived, I could not feel my toes any more. I only knew they were still there, because when I wiggled them to try and maintain the circulation, I could feel them bumping into the edge of the shoe. Had to have another cup of tea, just for warmth.

After lunch today, Dad and I explored the ship. Stuff is at the wrong end compared to every other ship I have ever been on! The cafeteria/self service restaurant is at the front and the spa is at the back (next to the Kids Club – hardly relaxing!). All very confusing indeed. Going to get a bit lost on this cruise, I think.  We calculated later that we had walked about a mile and a half all told.

Then I went to yoga. I usually do Hatha, this was Ashtanga. This teacher was OBSESSED with downward dog and the plank and managed to get them into virtually every manoeuvre.  As far as I can tell, the proponents of this particular style had knees made of iron. I’m not used to doing so many poses on my knees, and I had to skip some bits, because I was in too much pain. Even his choice of “rest position” was a kneel! When I commented on the knee thing, he told me to go to Pilates instead. Charming. If your mats were perhaps slightly thicker than toilet paper, that might help, dear. Oh well, I tried. Might go to Pilates on the next sea day, but on port days, they do this stuff REALLY early in the morning, so that won’t be happening tomorrow, that’s for sure.

Gluten-free food is proving to be a bit of an issue on this cruise. When I asked for hot food options at lunchtime, I was told I could have – guess what? A jacket potato. That’s it. All the other options and everything cooked fresh to order, and that’s all they could be bothered to offer. When I kicked up a bit of stink (having first served myself some cold meat and salad, so I didn’t starve), the head waiter brought me a plate of boiled fish and boiled veg. I pointed out this was a luxury cruise ship, not a hospital (!), and that, not only should I be able to choose for myself, but they should make much more of an effort to make their food edible for everyone.  Eventually, they found some berries and cream and bunged a meringue on the top. I mushed it up myself. How much effort would it have taken for them to mash it up and then present it as an Eton Mess they had made for me specially? Seriously missed Brownie Points opportunity, there. Very nice, though.

Then, for some reason, they realised they had gluten-free bread and brought me a piece. No butter, no knife, just this lump on a plate. It bounced. If you pressed it, it rebounded. And when you tore it open, it was so rubbery, it closed itself again when you let go. It looked like a dumpling that had been lost in transit and it was very wet and rubbery. It, sadly, but perhaps not unsurprisingly, did not get eaten. I’m not THAT desperate for sustenance.

Talking of food, the evening dining room is fast turning into a farce of epic proportions. Last night, we met some lovely ladies, U3A friends on holiday together. We had a table for 8. There are three of us and six of them. One of them was put on another table! No, really. Isn’t that ridiculous?! She came and sat with us after dessert. They were lovely and we all got on very well. Today, they laid our table for nine, so she could join us. It would have been a squeeze, but not insurmountable. But they were then moved to another table for six of their own. Which left the three of us sat at a table laid for nine, looking like right Billy-No-Mates.

They then managed to get every single course of our pre-ordered meals wrong.  They fixed my starter without problems, but then brought mum’s main with red cabbage and onion coleslaw, which in no way resembled the green salad she had requested. When it finally did come, the lettuce looked so tired, I nearly made a bed up for it.

Then, to top it all off, they brought her a treacle sponge with no treacle on it. After a while, you can’t complain any more. You just look silly. But mum is on such a limited diet at the moment, because of her current gout attack, it’s hard enough to find her food she can and will eat as it is, without them then buggering up the order as well. And all the while, we froze. Although, on the plus side, I got a gluten-free roll that didn’t fight back, so that was nice.

After dinner, went back to my (now nice and warm) cabin to defrost. Then up to the quiz. Mum and Dad and I had Barbara and Terry on our table. We came second. Which is the best place to come, because the one thing you do not want is to actually win the brass polish that is passed off for P&O own label wine – be it red, white or fizz. My drains are not currently blocked, thanks for asking. Dad said it’s okay if you add enough lemonade. I made a comment about homeopathic ratios…

Oh, did I mention the ship is still moving about quite a bit, and someone threw up at my feet at lunchtime? No? Well, she did. Missed my shoes by luck, not judgement. Yes, and bon appétit to you too.

I went to the nightclub at midnight. You know it’s not going to be scintillating when the lights are up from the outset. Met two nice guys – Jon, a comedian whose show I had missed (he was very nice about it!) and Ross, an Out of Hours doctor, who had some fascinating tales to tell. We chatted til 2 and then called it a night. Early start tomorrow – port day.

Day One – Monday 9^th November – embarkation

Well, loading the car was fun. Dad managed to not only bang a suitcase into my most painful arthritic knuckle, but then gouge out a line of skin all the way down the finger. It’s still sore ten hours later. But the drive down was uneventful enough. Not much gluten-free at Fleet Services, so I had a very expensive salad from Tossed, which whilst exceedingly yummy, it must be admitted, did not in any way warrant relieving me of a tenner.

When we arrived, they sat us in the disabled waiting area and ignored us for the best part of an hour. When someone else was talking about their loyalty level, the co-ordinator suddenly decided to point out that if we were such a level, we had priority boarding and did not have to sit around for hours. We were very angry that that had not been mentioned to us, foolishly assuming that all disabled passengers were treated the same (ie. equally badly). Turns out not, but by this time we had already waited so long (just under an hour), it was our turn anyway. When we remonstrated with the bloke that he should have said this at the outset, he yelled at us for not waltzing in and demanding special treatment ourselves. Nasty little man. Our ‘pusher’ said later that it was his first day promoted to a supervisory role, and he wasn’t really coping. Can’t argue with that. But, even so, actively yelling at the customers seems a bit off.

*UPDATE: 23/11/15. Yesterday met a lady who had the opposite problem. She wanted to use her priority boarding for her disabled mother, but was told she couldn’t! Someone needs to get their story straight, methinks. Coincidentally, today I also found the following at cruise.co.uk -an in-depth look at P&O’s new check-in system. You may not be entirely startled by the contents, after reading the above.**

So onto a new ship. Eventually. Well, not new, decidedly old, judging by the rust around the windows! But new to us. Oceana. Pleasant enough. A bit seventies on the décor (lots of white melamine with dark wood edging and wall lights), but the staff, when they are around, are quite pleasant.

Everything was late today. Even muster was delayed because two of the coaches were late coming in, so we were eighty passengers short. They’ve changed the muster script ever so slightly, so that even the hardened cruisers have something new to listen to. Such excitements we have, you have no clue.

My cabin is okay, but for two main flaws. 1. There are no bedside tables. This could make life interesting. And 2. It’s frigging ARCTIC in here. In fact the whole ship is bloomin’ freezing. We were all shivering at dinner. My room thermostat is up to its warmest setting, but there is still a constant cold breeze across my face and fingers. I’m sitting here typing this with my coat on. My nose is numb.

Weather-wise, we are moving about a bit. Force 6 winds, I think he said. She’s a bit creaky, but other than that, she’s coping well. Just a bit of side to side movement.  Barely enough movement in the water glasses at dinner to qualify as a Jurassic Park reference.

*UPDATE: 23/11/15. Found out towards the end of the cruise that Oceana has a flat bottom. Like Artemis did. Remember her? The one I described variously as “never seeing a wave she didn’t stop and say hello to” and “bobbing around like a cork”? Yes, same design here. Spiffing.**

No, it’s the cold that is really getting to me. I may have to go to bed early, just to get warm.

P.S. I was so desperate for warmth, I went to Costa and got a decaff tea. A hot drink. Me. Yes, exactly. Must remember to demand my money back in the morning from Reception. I’m pretty sure the cost of this cruise should include protection from hypothermia! Steward brought extra duvets an hour and a half after I first complained (there were two further calls in between those two events).

Up at 6. No, correction, up and DRESSED by six. Went and had a proper breakfast and then waited for mum and dad in the public room allocated to us (you get kicked out of your cabin by the steward at 8, as they have to clean them all before the next lot start boarding at noon). Got off and walked to the car. This is a shame. They used to bring the car to us. Cost cutting, P&O. Tut, tut. Found it was completely covered in sand! Must have had some interesting weather in Portsmouth in our absence. Drove home and then I unpacked the car and then crashed. I think we all dozed off, in fact. The unpacking still awaits, but, for now, we are just re-adjusting, reading the post and trying to stop our inner ears from swaying. Next cruise: August. Bye for now.

Went to Reception at 11am. Manager called Rowell came to my cabin to see the damage and then shouted at me so much, I threw him out of my cabin. When I said it was P&O that caused the damage, he said, it wasn’t, it was the Southampton Stevedores. Well, my contract is with P&O and I handed my luggage to them. If they outsourced the heavy lifting, that’s their problem, not mine. He then said that, even if it could be fixed, there was no time. I pointed out that I reported the problem and got ignored for the best part of 24 hours, so any shortage of time was hardly my fault either. After I went back to Reception and made a complaint about his behaviour, I was offered £25 in On Board Credit to compensate for the suitcase damage and the damaged top was completely forgotten. How is OBC any use?! They don’t sell suitcases on board! Agreed to meet the Customer Services Manager at 4pm to discuss properly.

Dad came with me. Phillip Holmes, CSM was quite pleasant. He agreed £15 for the ruined top and £25 for the case and said that Southampton would send me a cheque, but it might take a few weeks. He said he could not write one, no one on board can, and neither can he allocate OBC to be used on another ship (i.e. the cruise we are booked on for later in the year). So, we will wait. But at least now I have an answer, rather than the back and forth of yes it can be repaired, no it can’t nonsense we have had until now. Although, frankly, I am no clearer as to whether it can be repaired or not!

Then a nap and then packing – first helping Mum and Dad with lifting their cases once full, and then Dad came to supervise my packing (well, actually to give mum some peace to finish her library book before dinner!).

The sun shone today, so I did as much sitting on deck reading as I had time for. There were people proper sunbathing today. We must be getting close to the high that is giving the UK its heatwave. It was very pleasant on deck, with barely a breath of wind. A lovely way to end a very enjoyable cruise. I will add photos to all the recent entries when I get home – I’m not paying 20p a minute to upload jpegs, sorry!

And the winner of the Film with the Worst Sound Balance in Human History goes to… Belle. Good grief. I had to variously alter the volume from 27, to hear the whispered confidences, right down to 8, when the music completely drowned out the dialogue, so as not to get lynched by my neighbours. Thank goodness they were still awake/ slamming drawers/ packing, otherwise I could have been on the end of a right old talking to. A nice enough film, with plenty of heaving bosoms in tight but exquisite period dresses and dirty, impoverished, noisy souls to drive past whilst looking shocked. A bit like Les Mis but without the music. And much more earnest. With a strident anti-slavery message that was almost certainly lacking in the real life events on which it was so very loosely based.  The script was also clearly written by someone with absolutely no knowledge of the law and its maxims, because there were some lovely ones that could have been used, had the writer had the faintest idea what they were talking about. Shame, that.  Oh well, never mind. At least the boy got the girl and the girl got the boy, and the murderers lost their court case, so all’s well that ends well and all that.

I don’t like Dublin. When we arrived, it was raining. This on its own would not bother me. When we went ashore, the first thing that happened was that the shuttle bus drove past us and refused to pick us up.  The excuse we were given was that the driver was on his lunch break. I remain unconvinced. Once in town, we were assailed by beggars, shop staff who don’t listen to a word you say, or care much that you were there at all, and cafes that offer gluten free or decaff but just happen to have sold out right now. Finally found a decent cafe with lovely food, that DID have gluten free AND decaff, at which point the sun duly came out and shone on us for a short while. I was grumpy all day with a bad mood I couldn’t shake. I don’t like big cities at the best of times, they are noisy and smelly and horrid, but I felt we weren’t particularly welcome in Dublin, which did not help one jot.

I don’t recall if I mentioned, but P&O busted the foot off my suitcase and glued/bolted it back on when we boarded. When packing yesterday, I realised they have also smashed the ring on the zip that you pass the padlock through. Getting them to give a tinker’s cuss has taken all my energy today and I imagine the saga will continue tomorrow. They think I should have to unpack the whole thing and re-pack it when they’ve got round to doing another ugly bodge job. Yeah, like I’ve got nothing else to do with my holiday time except unpack and repack whenever you feel like I should. Thanks a bunch. Needless to say, the grumpy mood persists.

After dinner, I went back to reception and kicked up a bit of a stink. I got back the top that had been damaged by the door. The seamstress has done her best, but the material is now puckered where she has simply drawn the sides of the hole together and, as it is cotton jersey, it looks pretty ugly. They said they will ask their manager tomorrow about compensation. It’s not particularly valuable. It’s F&F at Tesco. But I should be able to come on a cruise without having holes punched in my clothes and, potentially, in me as well.

The suitcase issue rumbles on. The man at the counter said he had a message saying the case was irreparable. Then his manager, Jennie, came out and said she had been told it WAS fixable. I laughed in her face. That’s two answers to the same question in under ten minutes. Nothing farcical about that whatsoever.  We agreed to talk tomorrow, which will give her time to speak to her manager and the repair man herself and clarify the situation.