We love Phuket, but, boy, has it changed in two years.

We were there just after the tsunami (the February or March just after) and although there was a lot of building work going on and all the sand had been washed away off the beach, there was very little indication at Patong Beach of what had happened. But now everything is rebuilt or in the process of being built. There are multi-storey (but no more than four or five) apartment blocks on the front, with selling prices starting from 341,000 US dollars. Yes, read that again. 341,000 US dollars. They have a new paved promenade, with special tiles in, and most of the sand has been replaced, although it is still about six inches or so below its original height. There is a new shopping mall and the Holiday Inn has quadrupled in size and become a “resort”. The food there is fantastic. I had my favourite dish in the world – Phad Sie Iew – flat rice noodles stir-fried with chicken, egg and greens in soy sauce. Divine.

There are still bargains to be had, especially in the new Patong Top, which is basically just a well-organised open air market with permanent stalls. There’s even a shop that sells nothing but Hello Kitty handbags. I was in my element! Added to which, it was 90 in the shade, with a good breeze. Perfect.

Kota was brilliant. We love it there. There’s no specific reason, but EVERYONE who had been there before was just happy to be back.  Had a lovely day, pootling through town, taking different routes, marvelling at how much had changed in the two years since we were last here. “Traditional cucumber sandwiches” at the new Le Meridien hotel means, oddly enough, TOASTED cucumber sandwiches.  Well, cucumber and lettuce sandwiches made with toasted bread, anyway.  Very odd!

Brunei was nice enough, I suppose. Waiting over an hour on the quayside for a shuttle bus into town didn’t go down well, though! The place is, surprisingly, much poorer and scruffier than I imagined a tax-free country with petrol subsidised at 14p a litre would be, but apparently there is a two-tier society. Residents and citizens. Citizens get free healthcare, free education and every year the Sultan GIVES AWAY one hundred and sixty houses. Non-citizens don’t get any of that and, even if they marry a local, they don’t get the benefits for ten years. A good way to stop marriages of convenience, but one which inevitably leads to a Haves and Have-Nots society. No where near as opulent and outwardly monied a city as I expected.

They dropped us at the most expensive shopping mall they could find (as usual) and there are only twenty or so taxis in the whole of Bandar Seri Begawan, which makes getting about tricky, especially after you miss a kerb and fall badly… Yes, I’ve done it again! This balance business is really starting to get on my nerves now. Nothing sprained, believe it or not, but i’ve bruised the muscle that runs down the outside of my right calf, which makes walking an ooh ow exercise. I’m sure it’ll be fine in a couple of days (luckily we have two sea days now, which gives me time to recuperate before Penang and Phuket) and I’m grateful it’s not as bad as when i went down on Oriana, but it’s annoying nonetheless. I’m also distressed to have to inform you that it looks like chocolate is a major trigger of my dizzy attacks. Poo.

On the upside, today i went to the art auction on board and although i was tempted to buy three pieces, i resisted all urges to raise my hand. And then they did a raffle and i WON a piece! Yippee! Divine reward for my frugal and restrained behaviour maybe?! There are a couple of pieces that, if they haven’t gone by the end of the cruise, i am seriously tempted to put on my plastic. Dad keeps saying “Where will you put them?” but that’s just silly. Just because I’m homeless now, doesn’t mean I always will be!!! And we all need to fill our walls, right?! Silly daddy.

I know it’s been a while, and i apologise, but i’ve been very busy.  By way of compensation it’s a long one. Enjoy.

I am pooped beyond belief. Four Port Days in a row, one day off and then another two. Now we get one day off and then ANOTHER two! Really, I can’t tell you how exhausting it all is. The humidity is off the scale, its over 30 in the shade and we walk and we walk and we shop and we sightsee and we walk and we go to markets and restaurants and shops and buildings and museums and… I’m pooped.

I can’t remember what I’ve told you or what I said when I was last here, so forgive me if I skip stuff or repeat stuff.

I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed Richard Digance’s shows. They were fantastic. I went to all four (two shows per night, two nights – one show for first sitting diners and one for second). Also got to have a drink with the great man himself, which was extremely pleasurable. I don’t think he enjoyed the experience (the cruise, that is, not drinking with me!) as much as he had expected to. The weather wasn’t awful, but being separated from his guitar of 30 years must have been very upsetting. Apparently, it was still in Dubai when he boarded in the Seychelles and got to the Seychelles long after we left. Hopefully, it will arrive home soon and they will be reunited. Poor Richard. He wrote a lovely poem, just for us, which went down very well. I’m hoping he’ll send me a copy to keep as a souvenir. Tony Christie (yes, the Amarillo bloke!) is on at the moment and he’s going down a storm. P&O may be cutting corners right, left and centre, but you can’t fault the quality of the acts on this cruise, you really can’t. Although how you top Richard Digance is beyond me…

CNN is back, which is nice. It’s weird not being able to find out what is going on in the world. Even if you don’t watch it, it’s nice to have it there! Of course, it’s a rather American view of the world, even on CNN International – you still get Christine Amanpour asking the stupidest questions on Earth, for example – but at least I have an idea of what’s going on. Andy Murray has suddenly found his game, Becks has been benched by the world’s most petty football coach (it’s my ball and I’m not going to let you play with it any more) and various politicians are polluting the planet flying around telling each other what to do. Which is nice. Oh, and the British Government has mislaid some more criminals. For a change…

Here, we plod on. Dad has The Cold now, but is not streaming to the extent that I was. I am now pretty sure my dizzy spells are caused by MSG, red wine and chocolate. Tomorrow I may experiment with citrus fruit, just to see what will happen, but it means avoiding all the other things, just in case! I’m wondering if the vinegar at dinner is red wine vinegar and, if so, if that explains why, at this precise moment, I am fighting the urge to hold my head on. My vision is jumping (like when a CD misses a beat or the digital tv freezes and then jumps up-to-date) and I am feeling extremely wobbly. Of course, sunburn on the top of my head (despite wearing a hat!) could also be a contributing factor… as could the chocolate mousse I had for dessert. My life is very complicated.

Kuala Lumpur was lovely, as always. Always have a good time there. Shopped like crazy, ate like kings and generally coped quite well with the humidity, as it was overcast and not too hot.

Singapore was heavenly, of course, because Denise is there. We saw her flat and went shopping in Chinatown, which is always wonderful. (Fyi, Kuala Lumpur Chinatown is rubbish by comparison. Don’t bother.) As we were over night in Singapore (we got two full days!), Denise took us to the Night Safari. This is a trip around parts of Singapore Zoo after dark, to see the nocturnal animals that aren’t around during the day, and was absolutely brill. Then the next day, she had to go back to work (boo! ) and we shopped our way along the string of malls along Orchard Road and Scotts Road, despite the pouring rain.

The next day was Kuantan. A small, poor, sprawling town that stretches along a long, thin piece of Malaysian coastline. No culture, no history, no architecture, one temple, one mosque and two shopping malls, one of which has a Tesco Express. That’s it. We had fun pootling around nonetheless, but not the most exciting or stimulating of stops. And the bank manager won’t upset by it either.

Spent most of yesterday asleep. Literally. Got up at noon. Ate lunch with parents. Went back to bed. Got woken for dinner. That was my day. Went to the show in the evening – songs from London musicals, which was good fun, and then to the Syndicate Quiz, which the parents do every night (no more than 6 to a table – prize is a bottle of plonk). We won last night. Which was nice. So we have a bottle of white to drink tonight. Which will also be nice. Hopefully… I’m a big fan of vinegar, but the in-between stages I don’t like so much…

Tomorrow is a Sea Day, so hopefully more sleep. There was an announcement tonight about more paperwork, this time for Brunei (the paperwork for Vietnam having been completed today). So that should keep us occupied for a while…

The day after that is KOTA!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEHA!!!! We LOVE Kota Kinabalu (Sabah, Borneo, for those reaching for an atlas). The people are lovely, the weather is sublime and the shopping is the best on Earth. Very excited. The day after that is Brunei, which is a new one for all of us, I think. Will let you know on that one.

Today was Durban. Not much is open on Boxing Day, but we went on a coach tour to the Tala Game Reserve and spent the morning in an open-sided four by four taking photos of zebras and BABY zebras and impala (small type of antelope) and BABY impala and wildebeest and BABY wildebeest and giraffes and ostriches and lots of other cool stuff I never thought I would see up close and personal.

There are no predators at the reserve, so we saw no lions or cheetahs or hyenas. I felt a bit cheated on that front. It is also too small a reserve for elephants. I was surprised when I found out it is a private reserve, owned by one man. I would have preferred to go to a charitable one or a publicly-owned one. Mind you, I’m not even sure there are any. Didn’t get burned or bitten and took 170 pictures. A very pleasant morning. Back to the ship for a rather late lunch (roast lamb) and then out onto the quayside to look at the craft stalls that had been set up in the terminal for us. Bought some nice stuff, including a necklace for myself made of haematite (look it up, I had to!). Then back on board to write postcards in the air-conditioned bliss of my cabin. Hot and humid is all very well, but it’s nice when it stops too! The weather was glorious and sunny and lovely but a little more breeze would have been welcome! The trouble with humid is that it doesn’t get turned off when you go in the shade. The heat does, but not the humidity. Bleurgh.

What astonished me about Durban was the green. I have always had a mental image of Africa as desert, dry and warm but fairly barren. Like Namibia was, or Cairo. Durban was one of, if not, the greenest places we have seen so far on this trip. Quite astonishing. Words like verdant would be needed to do it justice, or lush.

I also found out that about one sixth of Durban’s population is of Indian descent and they are Hindus. Just not the sort of thing I expected to find! There is a huge chicken industry here, and McDonalds had to close most of their branches, both because the Hindus, of course, don’t each beef. Very interesting and nice to learn something new. Incidentally, talking of things I learned today, impala are one of the few animals in the world that can DECIDE when to give birth. They can delay or induce whenever they feel the conditions are right and can also abort and completely reabsorb a foetus if they feel conditions aren’t right. Wow. How weird is that?!

Tomorrow is Richards Bay and then to Mayotte. Anyone who mentions tropical storms over Madagascar gets a slap.

I have been remiss over the past few days, blog-wise.  Sorry, I have just been too busy to update it! Sorry!

Walvis Bay in Namibia was wonderful. I went out into the desert and saw 600-year-old plants, called Walwitchsias. Very cool. Also saw some dunes, with people surfing down them, and a rocky part of the desert where long gone rivers had carved the rock into canyons.

Luderitz in Namibia was very disappointing.  We didn’t feel welcome and they really don’t know what tourists want or how to supply it.  Only one church had even made any postcards to sell, which, of course, I didn’t find.  Hmph.  Nice ones too.  Someone was kind enough to show me theirs. Grrr.

Then Cape Town. A lovely town, lovely landscape, magnificent views, great shopping and a very tourist-friendly town. After about midday. For some reason, before that, people were very unhelpful!

The bank would not change money without a passport (which the ship had kept for immigration to inspect) and they insisted that they required proof of permanent address (which isn’t on your passport anyway!). Although my photo driving licence has this, they wouldn’t accept it. They only accept German photo driving licences. I ask you! We found a bureau d’exchange where the assistant recited the rules but was intelligent enough to grasp that my photo driving licence, that contains my name, address, signature and photo was really sufficient. *sigh*. Then we went to a pharmacy and got IGNORED until we left. Call me petty, but I can take a flipping hint. They didn’t want our money, they didn’t have to have it. We later found plenty of lovely, friendly, helpful people who were more than happy to take our money. Funny that.

Lunch was divine. Anyone going to Cape Town should go to the Victoria and Alfred Wharf and find a restaurant called Societi. One of the best restaurants I’ve eaten in, and the service was brilliant. The waitress even helped us with information on tourist attractions and sightseeing buses. And they let me have a kids meal as I wasn’t very hungry. Mind you, if that’s a kid’s portion, I think Hagrid would have trouble eating an adult portion!

More pootling and sightseeing, including the Two Oceans Aquarium and an open-topped bus tour, which was expensive but brill. Then dinner at the Table Bay Hotel. Seriously posh, good quality food, and we all ate our fill and had change from forty quid. Amazing.

Creative writing ended at Cape Town as Katherine, our tutor, disembarked. She asked me to continue to run a session (why me?!) and I’ve asked the Powers That Be. They said, we’ll think about it after Christmas. And so we Wait.

Today was Port Elizabeth. Not much to see, but quite pleasant shopping and beautiful beaches. Overcast but warm, so I didn’t get burned today, which was nice.

Roast lamb for dinner today(stir-fry for lunch, yum!) and then we went up on deck to sing Christmas songs and carols as loud as possible, so that Santa could find the ship and bring us our presents. We even got given a present each by the Ship’s company but I can’t say what it is, in case someone who hasn’t opened theirs reads this! Suffice to say, it came in a box the size of a shoe box and I can’t find the hallmark.

Christmas party later (I am wearing the santa hat earrings, the santa red and white scrunchie and the red tinsel tied around my pony tail). Yippee! Then at midnight there is both an Anglican and a Catholic Midnight Mass and also services tomorrow morning. In the evening, the passenger choir will be doing our thing, which should be interesting!

Happy Christmas, everyone. Chanukah has finished and so has Divali, but happy those too. In fact, Happy Cheerfulmas, one and all .

St Helena was wonderful.  A ring doughnut of  barren, moon-like rock landscape with houses clinging to the bare rock.  And then you drive inland and there is the volcano’s crater, lush and green and fertile. Breathtaking. The people were lovely, the weather was divine and it was nice to be somewhere that felt British again, however briefly (it is a British protectorate – the currency is sterling, the monarch is the Queen and the jailhouse is labelled HM Prison).  We wandered through the town and then took a drive around the island with a lady taxi driver, who told us all about the island and its people.  The drive along the bendy road around the cliffs was not as hair-raising as it might have been, thanks to the waist-high stone wall protecting us from the view of the sheer drop below.

Back at the quayside, we had to queue for the boats (called tenders when we use them to go ashore and lifeboats if we have to use them in an emergency!) to take us back out to the ship. This is where we all got very burned. I am more pink than I think I have ever been, although it is not as itchy as yesterday. At dinner last night, mum said she could see where my sunglasses had been – I was wearing a white mask across my eyes!

Back on board just in time for the barbecue lunch on deck. While we were eating, we watched them pack it all away, even though not everyone was back on board. We were annoyed by this, as it seemed most unfair that the people still queuing for a tender got no lunch. Granted, the sandwiches and scones for tea were put out 15 minutes later, but it’s hardly lunch, is it? It also meant that we got no fruit, which was very annoying. Dad and I had to go to the midnight buffet later just to get some flipping watermelon!

I eat much more healthily on board than I do on land. It’s just so much easier when someone else does all the preparation. I eat tonnes of fruit and loads of vegetables. Last night for dinner I had half an avocado for starter and the other half as my main course. Yummy. Talking of which, I haven’t had any fruit today. Might nip back up to the Conservatory restaurant and grab some before they close at 2. The stir-fry I had for lunch was nice enough, but the chef used WAY too much oil. I still feel all icky from it. Bleurgh.

Today is the first of two and a half sea days (we left St Helena @ 3 yesterday) which will take us to Walvis Bay in Namibia. So, although I skipped line dancing this morning (the room is really hot and I didn’t think my sunburn would appreciate the bright, hot lights), I do have creative writing this afternoon. I may even get a chance to paint at some point, if I ever get the time!

Films seen lately: Mission Impossible III (did I mention this already?), Catwoman, The Matador, a film starring Bruce Willis as one of the Sleepover Bandits (I forget the name), Philadelphia and Goldeneye.

You know what? There are only 65 days left of this trip!

Very nice. Walked from one end of Funchal to the other and then back again. Hot, sunny day. (Apols to anyone from Kensal Rise reading this! I hope your houses still have roofs.) Fancy that,  a tornado in London. I thought it was too sheltered by the Chilterns and the Thames Valley, so it just goes to show. See? I may be thousands of miles away, in the middle of the, um, Atlantic (?) Ocean, but i still know what’s going on in the world. And stuff.  We have CNN… sometimes…

Afternoon tea at Reids. Mum reckons that she has now taken tea at all of the world’s top hotels outside London. I keep meaning to google and find out whether we’ve missed any. We’ve done:

Reid’s, Madeira
Peninsular, Hong Kong
Raffles, Singapore
Algonquin, New York
Sandy Lane, Barbados

I’ve done the Ritz in London and she and dad have also done the Cipriani in Venice and the Taj Mahal Palace Hotel, Bombay. I wonder which ones are still left to do. We think that Claridges counts, and maybe the Lanesborough, both in London, but we’re not sure.

Afternoon tea at Reids was everything it should be, but for one blip. Avocado sandwiches. Now, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE avocado, but avocado SANDWICHES?!?!?!?!?! :-0 Tres odd. Nice, but odd. The rest was flawless. Yummy and delicious, with good quality tea made from proper leaves, not the sawdust they put in teabags or sold as “loose tea” in the UK. Proper leaves. That looked like they had just come off a tree and been roughly chopped by Jamie Oliver. THAT’s what tea leaves are supposed to look like!

While I’m typing this, I’m trying to google for that list of hotels. Just found a site called thisisthelife dot com. well, you’ve got to look, haven’t you?!

I’ve found a list but it is still loading. I hope it doesn’t suggest any Hyatts. The Hyatt in Kota Kinabalu serves The Worst Pizza On Earth and the one in New York lost my parents’ reservation, despite the fact that they rang TWICE to check everything was in order and they were arrived on the Queen Mary II. We are not fans of Hyatt! I’m not suggesting that they are no good, they may be wonderful for other people. We’ve just been unlucky. Twice.

Anyway, let’s see what the list says… Hang on, i’ve found another site called artisansofleisure. Another one begging to be clicked on! Hold on… Yes, that one has a long list of the top 100. Definitely a Wish List to work from!

It is extraordinary how many hotels there are in the world called Peninsula. *sigh* I think i may have to remove it from my search and start again.

I’ve found a page which might be useful but it is taking FOREVER to load. People at seasonsinstyle dot com, please tidy up your front page. there is really no excuse for over 53 items, really there isn’t. not all of us are on free-to-use-as-much-as-we-want broadband, some of us are paying actual money to look at your eggtimers.

This is proving harder than i thought. Funnily enough, there are a lot of sites that have the words “greatest” and “hotel” in them… odd, that… it’s really getting quite boring trying to plough through them. May well give up on the whole concept.

Anyway, we are now chugging away from Madeira and heading towards Cap Verde, cos we’re missing out Tenerife. The rough weather not only slowed us down considerably, it also caused a number of injuries. Several people were stretchered off at Madeira and I’m guessing we left them there.

Oh, the George V in Paris. That should probably be on there. I’ll have to ask the parents if they have taken tea there. I don’t think I ever have.

Oh, I give up. Maybe another time. When I win the lottery or something.

Sunshine. for the first time. plenty of. warm. 18 degrees. yippee. so i may not get rickets after all!

lime dressing. allegedly added to the coleslaw but i couldn’t taste it. the food on here is decidedly hit and miss. the basics are poorly done and the fancy stuff tries too hard and usually fails. most of it looks way better than it tastes and the mint sauce has been diluted to the point of stupid. can’t taste it at all, no matter how much you ladle on.

Roy Walker did some stand-up last night. Very funny, but he suddenly looks a lot older than when i last saw him a couple of years ago. He’s getting off today, apparently. Shame.

Went to bed early last night (12) but the night before had a really good night out. didn’t get to bed til 4. was VERY hungover yesterday. champagne all night is all very well and good, especially when you don’t pay for any of it, but, boy, was i sorry yesterday. no headache or nausea, just photosensitivity and an overwhelming desire to sleep. which i did. from 4am to 11.30 and from 1.00 to 4.30pm.

formal dinner last night. all glad-rags and sequins. what a hassle. felt nice and looked nice, but, man, the hassle is NOT worth the result. also, heels are tricky on a vessel that rocks like this one does. today we are down to force 3 winds, but we’re still rocking. on the Oriana, force 3 would mean you wouldn’t be able to tell you were moving at all. this thing bounces around likely a bloody cork. >

anyway, the List of Movies I Have Watched for this cruise is taking shape. have so far seen Philadelphia Story, Back to the Future (I don’t think I’d ever seen the beginning before!), Bridget Jones (Part II is on tomorrow), The Remains of the Day (another one I’d never seen the beginning of!) and a couple of others. No Cartoon Network signal yet. have now lost bbc world and now have to watch UK CNN, which is weird. no newspapers for several days – presumably we’ve lost that satellite signal too.

we arrive in madeira late this afternoon/ early evening and we are staying in port ALL DAY tomorrow! a full 24 hours. this is to make up for the fact that we are skipping Tenerife altogether. All caused by the stormy weather forcing us to slow down so much over the past few days. i think a lot of people will be glad to get their feet on terra firma tonight. like dad says, the more firma, the less terra.

one day i ought to do an entry finishing off the last cruise, shouldn’t i?! well, i’ll try and do more on this one and then, after that, we’ll see. am feeling guilty about not updating my obeliai pages, but it really isn’t possible from here.

time to log off. don’t ASK what this costs me to type. they’ve changed the charging structure (have i mentioned this already?) so that typing in Word costs the same as the internet. how they can justify that, i can’t wait to find out. i think it’s disgusting. Word is free to everyone on Earth except P&O passengers. Appalling. So i type and seethe, type and seethe, it gives the day some routine, i suppose.

bye for now!

Here I am on a 3-month cruise.  This time around Africa and the Far East and Far East and home via the Middle East and the Med.  On a much smaller ship than I’ve been on before.  About two thirds the size and it is older as well.

We boarded yesterday, so last night was the first night. You’ve got to love the Western Approaches.

The readings from the bbc weather buoy we passed in the early hours of this morning reads:

CHANNEL WMO No.= 62103 Lat/Long = 49° 55′ N / 02° 54′ W (that’s the name and location of the buoy, not important!)

09:00:00 Sunday, 2006-12-03 W, 38 58 6.1

Allow me to translate:

Time & date
09:00:00 Sunday, 2006-12-03

Wind direction, speed (knots) Max gust (knots)

W, 38 58

So the wind is coming from the west, and we are travelling southwest, so it is hitting us sort of diagonally/ side on. 38 knots is about 55 miles an hour and the gust speed is in the region of 87 miles an hour.

The average wave height is 6.1m.

Innit amazing what you can find online?!

The Captain is using words like “hurricane force” and if there are trees down in nice, sheltered London (blocking trains apparently!) imagine what it is like out here with no shelter or protection.

Suffice to say no one slept much last night. What with the creaking and the up and down and the side to side and my wardrobe door swinging open and banging and the lifeboat outside my window giving the occasional bang, twas not the most restful night i’ve ever had.

My postings for this cruise will be shorter than previously, as they have changed the charging system so that I can’t type in Word for free and then cut and paste, i have to type while the money is ticking. Boo!

I didn’t win the Lottery last night. I only got one number. Boo to that too. But rah for the cricket and Mr Hoggard in particular. Yay! for him. Clever boy.

Here endeth the first message