So, back pretty much better, as long as I don’t do anything daft. Teeth definitely whiter since I switched from Diet Coke to Diet 7up. New pillows last night. Slept like a log. Appetite pretty much gone completely. Must be going home time.

Update on the missing stuff list:

Lemons in the pub (although still some in the kitchens for the fish and chips)

The coaster drought is spreading.

Washing powder in the shop.

The ice sculptor and sculptures

All parties, sailaway parties/ drinks and deck barbecues

Food theme nights

Dress theme nights

Fresh avocados

Green vegetables! Plenty of root veg though.

Photographers

Receipts.

Port day discounts in the spa

Art auctions. There is still art on sale, and a lovely young lady called Sonia to sell it to you, but I don’t think Whitewall Galleries did very well this month. But the free champers is long gone.

Ditto chocoholics. Ditto the galley walk.

The orange squeezer machine no longer contains orange oranges. We now have small yellow-green things that look like rather spherical lemons. These are apparently “Caribbean oranges” and they have a vastly different pip to pulp ratio to their predecessors. The juice is more yellow too, but the taste is still yummy.

Decent guest entertainers. One Grumbleweed and a bloke from ELO who clearly was not one of the singers, does not cut it.

Water in the Crystal Pool. After emptying over half its contents onto the deck the other day, someone took the hint and emptied out the rest. Both Jacuzzis are still available and I think the Riviera and Terrace pools are still usable.

And, of course, no muster drills for the passengers. Now you are just supposed to watch the video on the telly in your cabin, and then get your cruise card swiped at your muster station, to prove you know where it is. It was a boring hassle, but I rather miss it. It was the moment the holiday really started.

Today was Praia da Vitoria in the Azores. We didn’t get off. We’ve been here before. There is precious little here. The inhabitants are not in the least bit interested in cruise ship visitors. They know as well as we do that we only stop here to prevent our landlubbers from getting cabin fever/ going mad from lack of land to walk on/ greenery to look at. This is Portugal and very few people speak English. In fact, I think last time we came here, the cabbie and I communicated in French! So we stayed on board. Today was the first time I’ve had to wear my wristbands on this entire cruise. We were VERY stationary indeed.

Yesterday, I packed. So today I have been counting the broken fingernails. I may have got away with just two, but there a third I’m keeping a rather dubious eye on…