5th Feb was a sea day, mercifully! We were shattered.  This day entailed mostly naps. Happy birthday, Oded!

Tuesday was Curaçao.  We’ve been here before, and we both remembered it fondly, and were looking forward to seeing it again.  Once again, the heat and humidity were off the scale, although there was some cloud, so it didn’t seem to hit quite as hard.  Even dad was willing to venture outside!

However, P&O had found a cheaper parking space than the one we used to use.  This put us in an area that I think was called Kura.  On the “wrong” side of the Queen Emma Bridge from town. This meant a fair walk down to the ferry, or further to the bridge, itself, to cross over.  When we got to the ferry, the driver was having a nap and refused to take us across! We found out LATER that he was not obliged to if the bridge was closed/crossable.  But at the time we were just hot and exasperated. There was a bar on the opposite side of the road, so we crossed over for a drink and a sit down while we contemplated our next move. We were greeted at The Captain bar (which I think is a local chain – I’ve seen similar signage elsewhere recently) with the words, “Go away, we’re closed”.  Charming! We asked why and he said he doesn’t open til 4.30 because he’s Dutch and doesn’t like working hard.  Well, if you’re a barman and opening two diet coke bottles is too tiring, perhaps this is not the best line of work for you?! Anyway, we had a sit down anyway – he could hardly stop us! – and then staggered back up the hill to the port entrance and downhill to the gangplank and then uphill to get back on board. Most of the rest of the day/evening was sleep. I didn’t even go to dinner, because I was too tired to chew. 

For those coming here after us, you need to check the flag flying at the town end of the bridge. If it’s orange, it means that the bridge may open, but only for 10 minutes at a time. And, yes, you can ride it while it does.  The ferry is not obligated to run during an orange flag.  If the flag is blue, that means it is going to open and stay open for 45 minutes, which means the ferry HAS to run. What happens after nightfall , when you can’t see the flag, was never made clear to us.

Upsides:

(1) tomorrow is Aruba, and we aren’t planning to get off anyway, so that will give us some recovery time. 

(2) I can confirm that the suntan lotion I purchased, with insect repellent incorporated into it, definitely does work. I know this because I forgot to put on any in Curaçao, and I have some ENORMOUS bites on my legs now! For those who may be interested, it is called Malibu Daily Defense (sic).  It’s only SPF15, but that suffices for even my pale skin for several hours, without the need to reapply (assuming I’ve remembered to apply in the first place).  And I haven’t been bitten up until now so the repellent aspect works well.

Wednesday = Aruba. 

I needed a Slow Day today, so I didn’t make it to lunch until about 3pm. Thank heavens for all day service in the canteen! Fortunately, the waiters make a tremendous fuss of Dad if I’m not around, so I know he’s being looked after if I’m otherwise engaged.

Aruba update from looking out of the window: The extraordinary pink shopping centre that resembles the Neasden Temple is still here and still very pink. The bar opposite that used to have a cow on the roof is also still here. We’re moored right next to it. I’m not sure if the cow is still there, though, as it was round the other side, facing the street. I wonder if the owner continues to refuse to install a router? He used to have a sign up that said, “We don’t have wifi – talk to each other!”. 

Muzak update: Rocketman on a flute with saxophone solos – nope nope nope. Careless Whisper on the harp – meh. Bearable but odd.  Adding a saxophone at the end, which made it sound exactly like the original was even weirder. Because the harp kept going!  

For those paying more attention that I have been, Martinique was the halfway point of the cruise. We are now on the downhill bit. 

Cartagena, Colombia. Now, concentrate.  There are seven Springfields in America, and the writers of the Simpsons always refused to say which one was the inspiration for The Simpsons’ town. That’s amateur numbers. There are THIRTY, that’s THREE-ZERO places in the world called Cartagena. And more with Cartegna as part of a longer name.  We’ve been to several before, including the one in Spain that was the Carthage of Roman history.  This one was new to us.

Looking out the window, it was immediately clear that Cartegna is a very successful city. Skyscrapers filled the skyline, and the whole thing looked a bit like a graphic equaliser readout.  However, nestled behind them (well away from us!), is a UNESCO World Heritage Site – the Old Town.  This is a lovely old walled city, built to protect the financial success from the pirates of the area, who had a tendency to pop ashore and nick it all. Said financial success was built on two products: gold and slaves.

Small aside on modern parlance: Virtue signalling. I hate virtue signalling. It’s nonsense, and a thorough waste of time and electricity.  For those who are unfamiliar with the term, Virtue Signalling is where you say something to show that you are a decent, lovely person.  Much along the lines of Ardal O’Hanlon’s “Down with this sort of thing”, but without nearly as much import.  Things like, “you didn’t share that message about hating cancer, so you must therefore love cancer and don’t care a jot for people who have it”. Like I say, manifest nonsense, that means that some feel they have to virtue signal, to show they’re not a monster. Something like, “although I don’t share messages on Facebook about it, I just want to make it clear that I really do not like cancer, and want to send my support to anyone touched by it”.  Fatuous nonsense.

The reason for this mini-rant? Well, P&O is cutting corners right, left and centre, as you know, and one of the things that went first was the paper Port Guides.  ALLEGEDLY, they are available for free on the ship’s gratis intranet, but I haven’t found them yet!  Now, granted, they were riddled with errors, spelling mistakes, downright untruths and often were as much use as a chocolate fire guard, but it’s the thought that counts! It gave us a map (of sorts)(of varying reliability and usefulness – like the one that didn’t show the shuttle bus stop), and a vague idea of the currency, language and history of the place we were being let loose in. Dad and I have kept them. We have a HUGE folder full at home!  But it’s no use if we visit somewhere we’ve never been before. Such as, say, Cartegna in Colombia.

I have, however, found a website, called Cruise Crocodile. It is still in its infancy, and is buried under roughly one million adverts and pop-ups, but when you get past them, it’s actually got some rather useful port guides, and one of them was for Cartegna, Colombia. It gives the history of the Old Town (built in 1553 by a Spaniard who named it after his home town).  That it became one of the wealthiest places in the Caribbean.  That the pirates came for the wealth, so in the 17th century they built the wall around the city, to protect themselves. As I mentioned above. But where it talks about the gold and slavery, it refers to this “gruesome” trade.  That’s the virtue signalling I mentioned. That one adjective, gruesome. It’s not necessary. We know perfectly well that slavery is not a Good Thing. We don’t need to be told it’s a horrible thing to buy and sell people.  That’s just virtue signalling. It’s saying, “I wrote this but I don’t approve of it, so I’m going to make it clear that I think this is a Bad Thing, so you know I don’t think it’s a Good Thing”.  It’s totally unnecessary. It’s bordering on tautology, in my opinion.  It’s like saying “The Black Death killed a lot of people. This was not a good thing”. It’s not necessary.  We know that a third of the population of Europe died. We are capable of figuring out for ourselves that that was not considered to be a beneficial outcome (although it really was, but that’s another story altogether).  Virtue signalling is just stating the obvious. Slavery is a gruesome trade. No, REALLY?! Who’d ‘a thunk?!

We didn’t go to the Old City, for a variety of reasons. Not least of which was the Cruise Terminal was FANTASTIC. It’s a destination in and of itself!  It’s a 600 yard walk, but they provide a free shuttle bus, for which Dad was rather grateful, and some of them are even air conditioned!  When you arrive you are greeted with a one-way system.  This takes you through a sort of wild aviary, under tunnels of trees, to enclosures of flamingos, peacocks, parrots, and a few monkeys.  They are free to roam and fly as they wish, but they know where to wait for the feeding stations, and the parrots are extremely accomplished at sitting on human heads for the taking of photographs.  There is almost no bird poo to be seen, although the monkeys are not quite as respectful in that regard.  There are two outdoor cafes and a large indoor market selling tourist tat, with some of the best air con we’ve found so far.  So I shopped while Dad sat and watched other people being abused, pooed on or ignored by the nearby wildlife.  A small bottle of coke was about eight quid, but that didn’t dull our enjoyment in the slightest. 

I have refrained from commenting too much about the heat and humidity so far in this blog, because I know that, at home, my road is flooded closed, AGAIN, and you are all cold and miserable.  But we have had temperatures consistently over 30 degrees ever since New Orleans, and the humidity is now so high that the waiters have to mop the CEILINGS, because the air con is causing such condensation where it meets the outside air that it’s dripping on the diners!

Today is Sunday 11th February 2024, and we are in the Port of Colon. There is very little to do here. The half dozen excursions P&O were able to cobble together all relate to the Panama Canal, and start with an hour’s drive, to get away from the port!  This is a Rest Day for us.  Even Cruise Crocodile hasn’t mustered a port guide for this place yet. It’s a working port.  Cranes and containers and little lorries driving around waiting to have containers plonked on their backs by even littler forklifts. But it’s Sunday, in a Christian country, so there’s not much activity to speak of. Which undoubtedly means P&O got a discount on the parking fees! **sigh**

NORA, essay deadline: ONE WEEK.