R401 – “Western Caribbean” 65 nights

Okay, now, where do I start? What’s the most terrifying email header you can imagine receiving whilst on a coach in transit to Southampton to catch a cruise ship? How about “Cancellation confirmation for R401 Aurora Cruise Booking Number  …”? Made my blood run cold! I didn’t tell dad. I assumed it was a computer glitch and didn’t want to worry him unnecessarily. Anyway, when we got to the cruise terminal, we had no issues checking in, so I thought that was the end of that.

There has to be a limit to how wrong a person can be – it cannot be infinite – but suffice to say, I have sailed pretty close to that limit now.  I was Very Very wrong.

When  we got to our cabin, our cruise cards did not open the door. Lots of people tried, and failed. So we sat in Reception for half an hour, while they looked for an engineer to reprogramme/ change/ fix the lock.  In the end, someone twigged that it might be the card, not the lock, that was the problem, created two “emergency” keys, and huzzah, we were in. The suitcase we had left on board in November got in there before we did!

So we went for something to eat and tried to order drinks. Nope. The cruise card wouldn’t make payments either. So now, this multi-functional card performs neither of its functions. I tried a purchase in the shop, in case it was a problem with the bar machine, but we had already pretty much guessed the answer. No purchases allowed. File not found.

It was at this point that I realised that the wifi wasn’t letting me in either. So back we went to Reception. Much scratching of heads and inter-staff huddling later, the young lady informed us that she had “unlocked” the account and now everything would work. Jolly good. Ha ha.

No prizes for guessing that this is not the end of the saga. That was the day we boarded, Wednesday. It took until 10pm on Friday night, before all three things worked at once – key, wallet and wifi. Even then, it took a lovely young man called Mayur AN HOUR AND A HALF to sort. This included him running to our cabin with the new keys, to check they opened the door, and running back and forth to the shop (one deck up) to make test purchases, and creating a FOURTH wifi account, before we could begin to relax and start our holiday.

I am glossing over a large amount of stress, hassle and frustration.  We couldn’t drink anything but water for three days! Now, we’re pretty much tee-total these days, but we do like the freshly-squeezed orange juice that comes out of the orange-squishing machine, and we felt a little hard done by! Sometimes we had drinks and wifi, but emergency keys; sometimes we had working keys, but no drinks or wifi. And round and round and round it went. I lost count of the number of Reception staff who assured me that they had now solved it. Sometimes we went 12 hours without having to visit Reception. Once, I think. In three days.

The Hotel Manager, Richard Chilcott, (person who runs the passenger experience, second only to the Captain, who runs the mechanical and navigational stuff) has assured me that my wifi charges (which I prepaid a week before we sailed!) will be refunded for the first four days of unable to use-ness. That and a bottle of alcohol-free wine is the sum total of the compensation we get for a miserable first few days. Dad pointed out to him that if it had been a 7-day cruise, half would have been gone before they got their act together! Good thing we’ve got 62 days left!

Apparently, they had made two bookings for our names and cabin numbers.  The credit card details and spa bookings were attached to one, and we were given cruise cards for the other.  This was finally deduced when someone deleted the wrong one, and I had to go back to Reception to re-register my credit card, and remake my spa bookings. *le sigh*

All in all, we’re shattered. Packing and boarding is a very stressful 48 hours at the best of times, but we have both hit Personal Bests for sleeping. We can’t handle stress anymore; we’re too old. But I think it is safe to assume that my masseuse is going to have her work cut out for her this afternoon!

This same chaos resulted in their losing our table booking, so for the first three nights, we were shunted about from table to table, meeting people we will likely never see again, and sometimes being sat all alone at a table for 8, like Billy No Mates. I think we are now back where we should be, and although we are unlikely to bump into Jules and Mike (she’s a magician and did tricks at the table for us), or Anna and Jeff ever again, they were very lovely. We are now seated with Jane and Brian, who are likewise lovely! They are widowers who met at work – both Young Adults with physical disability Support Workers – lost their respective spouses and then got together. They’re very sweet.  They don’t live together, but they holiday together. Not bad info-gleaning on my part from only one meal together!

Our new head waiter, Caitan, got my order and dietary needs straight out of the gate, so that’s been a great relief. I couldn’t have handled glutening as well! And one of our waiters is the same as in October, so my water glass is regularly refilled.

Quiz-wise, we have a lovely team, made up of Barbara and Colin and Ian and Sandra. They met on a previous cruise and have stayed friends.  They are beyond lovely, all smart and all funny. The first night, we scored 7/20, and it is now a running gag to see how badly we can do. Second night we got nine. Last night we got 11! At this rate, by the time we actually get to the Caribbean ‘proper’, we might be a halfway decent team!  Of course, we don’t want to actually win. There isn’t enough brass on board that needs polishing to make any use of what passes for P&O wine.

Today, Sunday, we are in Funchal, Madeira. It is grey and overcast, 20 degrees in the shade, and raining.  Madeira is Portugal, so you need Euros here. They also have gluten free McDonalds. I was tempted, but I’m too tired for the hassle of disembarking and shuttle-bussing into town.

The weather has been quite kind so far. It was quite bumpy in the Channel – thank you Hurricane Henk – but nothing over a Force 6, so I don’t think anyone has been ill or injured.  Aurora is a wonderfully stable ship. We did have quite high waves, at least one hit our window (the curtains were closed, but a thump like that is pretty distinctive), and the hangers have had plenty to chime about, but nothing major. 

And the food is good. And the beds are comfy. And the drinks are vastly overpriced, but at least we can now pay for them! So, all in all, it is now STARTING to feel like a holiday.